Do Women Like Swinging? 

Do Women Like Swinging?There is a common misconception surrounding women and the swinger lifestyle that I feel needs addressing. And, being the straight-talking Northern girl that I am, I couldn’t have a sex and swinging blog without covering this particular topic! In fact, I feel so passionately about this subject, that I plan to write a good few hundred words on it! Pedantic? Yes! Preachy? Perhaps! Passionate about my beliefs? 100% So, let us discuss, Do Women Like Swinging? 

Are Women Being Coerced? 

There are people, who are under the assumption that swinging or being involved in the ‘Lifestyle’ is degrading to women. They have a somewhat outdated opinion that only women with little self-respect would be involved in such downright debauchery. 

Are women in the swinger lifestyle sexually liberated females, or are they to be pitied as the long-suffering wives and girlfriends of swinger husbands or boyfriends? 

Yes, in 2020, this opinion is still quite a popular one, I can count easily, at least five people who have expressed this belief to me openly in recent months. And these people weren’t old stuffy conservative types. In fact, two of them are young hipsters from East London. 

So why is it that people are still under the assumption that no woman would ever want to enjoy swinging for her own sexual pleasure or fulfilment? Without me diving into human psychology, and what makes us form preconceived notions about others (I could be here all day) let’s instead talk about what sort of women do enjoy swinging. And understand why they want to get involved in the Lifestyle in the first place! 

Why Do Women Start Swinging? 

Now, I haven’t conducted a poll; however, I have met a lot of swinger women and have spoken to many different ladies over the years. They have all got involved in the Lifestyle for various reasons, here is a round-up of the most popular reasons (spoiler alert; none of them were coerced) 

  • They identify as Bisexual or Bicurious and want to explore this side of their sexuality whilst retaining all the emotional exclusivity found within their existing relationship. Swinging with other women allows you to express parts of your sexuality while remaining emotionally monogamous. It’s a popular reason and one that many women can relate too. 
  • Some women know that being in a sexually exclusive relationship with one person isn’t for them. Regardless of whether they are in a relationship with a man or a woman, they know that ultimately they want to enjoy sex with others whilst having the attractive benefits of an emotionally exclusive relationship. Swinging allows for this to happen! 
  • Some women have a high sex drive and actively seek out new sexual experiences! Shock horror! You mean they enjoy sex? Oh thiskindagirl, is it true? Do women really have wants and desires of their own? You bet it is! And the best part? They don’t seek anyone’s permission to do so! When I was a single swinger, I would attend parties as a single girl and seek out couples that I knew would benefit my life and add to my own experiences. I knew what I wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. 

Is Swinging Good For Women? 

I could talk about how fantastic swinging is all day! After all, I live and breathe swinging! But, for the context of this post Do Women Enjoy Swinging? I’ll keep it brief, and share with you my top reasons as to why women enjoy swinging. 

  • Swinging empowers women. Regardless of how you like to have sex, and with whom you want to do it. When you take charge of your sexual desires and facilitate your fantasies, you become empowered. Women who enjoy swinging don’t wait for their partners to suggest new experiences and passively go along with whatever is decided. They discuss what they want to experience, what they want to try and then set about making it happen! If a woman is a single swinger, she knows what she wants and doesn’t wait for the right person to come along. She fulfils her own sexual needs and desires and through swinging becomes more sexually confident than what she ever thought possible. 
  • Swinging Builds Confidence. When you first start swinging, you are riddled with self-doubt, insecurity and fear. I was terrified the first time I was in a club; I was very apprehensive about getting undressed. I thought I would be far too shy to get my kit off and get involved in the action! How wrong could I be? Through swinging, I have grown in confidence, and my self-esteem has been given an enormous boost. It’s such a turn on to be desired by those around you. Within the confines of a swingers party, you can enjoy all the attention whilst being in attendance with your partner. You can flirt, oogle at and chat up other swingers, together. You will never get tired of hearing how attractive you are! Fact! If you are not feeling confident about your looks or body, then heading to a swingers club is a huge boost! Scary, yes! But once you get over the fear, you will find it such a turn on! 
  • Swinging is a great way of exploring your sexuality. I know I spoke about bisexuality earlier, but let’s focus on another aspect of sex that swinging might facilitate. Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not, you will have desires and kinks that you want to make a reality. This could range from experiencing a gangbang or orgy to being a BDSM dominatrix with a submissive at your feet. Through swinging, you can explore your sexuality to the max! 
  • Acceptance from other swingers. I don’t need to tell you that along with the ‘physical’ swinger Lifestyle; there is a huge social side to it as well. Swingers are sociable people. We like to talk and meet and chat and discuss what it is we want to get up to, and chances are, if you are a female swinger, you will enjoy this social aspect! I can’t open up to my vanilla friends about swinging or talk to them about what clubs I recommend, but with my swinger girlfriends, I can. And this acceptance means a lot to me! 

What Effects Does Swinging Have On Relationships? 

It’s no surprise that once you start swinging your relationship will evolve. As you discuss what you want and desire, you will no doubt become closer to your partner. Through sharing your fantasies together, you both begin to form a clear idea about what you wish to experience sexually.

Some men view their women with ‘fresh eyes’ when they swing. Seeing their wife or girlfriend being desired by other people can be a massive turn on and being with a woman who knows what she wants sexually is hugely attractive to some guys. Some men discover that watching their spouse in sexy situations with other males or females leads them to develop whole new fantasies and fetishes. 

Why A Woman Might Not Enjoy Swinging

There have been occasions that I haven’t had a great time when swinging, and to draw up comparisons when discussing Do Women Like Swinging, I have to include some reasons as to why women may not enjoy being involved in the Lifestyle. 

  • For me, it’s a huge turn off when I get the impression that my play partners are being coerced into participating in swinging. Sadly coercion does happen, and when it does, it’s not pleasant at all. I’d much rather be playing with swingers who are as enthusiastic as myself and are both happy to be involved in the action. Yes, compromises are made when swinging, but coercion is very different to compromise. 
  • Insecurity is a common concern of almost every new swinger! I remember when I first started, I was terrified of taking my clothes off and being naked or part naked in front of others. But I did it, gradually, at my own pace and once I did, I realised that it wasn’t as scary as I first imagined! 
  • Safety should always be your top priority when swinging. Having concerns about safe sex and sexual health is normal. Does it mean you can’t enjoy swinging? No way! Sexy smart women know that great sex is safe sex and always take their own protection. You can minimise the risks when having swinger sex by following your own rules and boundaries. It may be that you decide to only engage in soft swap play, which can be a lot safer. If you stick to simple rules and make it clear from the offset of what you do and don’t want to experience, there’s no reason why swinging would be unsafe for you. Always discuss your boundaries before any play and have lots of open communication. 

Do Women Like Swinging? In Conclusion

Within many MF couples, it is the man who suggests they try swinging, but the women who makes it happen, and very often, keeps making it happen. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to start swinging or wait for your partner to suggest it. You can swing as a single person, and then introduce a new partner to it, if you wish to. Some clubs cater primarily for single women, and female-led swinging is on the rise. Recently I joined Skirt Club, an exclusive members-only female club where women can attend private social events, Lifestyle parties and workshops. If women didn’t enjoy swinging, then these type of events and clubs wouldn’t exist!  

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