First Time Swinger Tips

First Time Swinger Tips. Welcome to the world of swinging! As with most alternative, risqué or ‘taboo’ activities, even discussing swinging can be a scary prospect, but in reality, it doesn’t have to be. The fact that you’re here, reading this blog is a step in the right direction…after all, I’m sure you didn’t stumble on my site by chance? That’s ok, giving you advice, help and support is what I’m here for!

It’s imperative to remember that we are all different in our wants, needs and desires and what’s hot for one, can be not for another! 

There is no right or wrong way to have sex. 

There are so many styles, possibilities and scenarios when it comes to swinging; I’ve never felt bored or ran out of inspiration when it comes to kink! What’s important to remember is this; you always move at a pace the least experienced person is comfortable with. Whether that’s yourself as a single swinger, a couple you have met, or your partner. No one should ever be coerced or pressured into any sexual activity.

You may be surprised to learn that there are many different types of swingers. Not all couples have sex with other couples; and some reserve certain intimacies for one another. If the thought of having penetrative sex with other people in front of your partner is turn off, but you still like to experience swinging, don’t despair! Your girl has all the answers right here for first-time swingers!

Why Do People Swing?

Swinging isn’t exclusively for mature, married couples looking to spice things up. The lifestyle appeals to a wide range of people. It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, dating, divorced and cautious, or have a friend with benefits. There will be swinger parties and clubs that cater specifically to your relationship state.

 Neither do you have to identify as straight, bisexual, bi-curious or anything else to enjoy swinging. There is a common misconception that within swinger couples the man is straight and the woman is Bisexual. This is most definitely a misconception! If you’re a guy and identify as bisexual or bi-curious, you may be pleasantly surprised to learn that there are many swingers out there who also identify this way.

You don’t have to be married to swing, but if you are in a relationship; whether long term or friends with benefits, then total honesty and clear communication are both key to making swinging a success. If you have the type of relationship where you can be honest and open with one another, then you are on the right track!

You have to ask yourself, is swinging right for you? Read, research and consider the implications carefully. Many who enjoy the lifestyle are happy to chat with first-timers wanting to explore. Swingers are a very non-judgemental bunch!

Concerns for First Time Swingers

It’s easy for me to say that honest, open communication is key. I had that conversation many years ago! Sometimes, it’s not always enjoying something new that scares us, but the implications that these things may have on our existing life. It’s natural to be scared, unsure and have reservations about putting your relationship ‘out there’. After all, our intimate relationships are precisely that, intimate.

I’ve always maintained the notion that swinging will add to an already existing excellent sex life. It’s a juicy added bonus, to be enjoyed along with the sex (however you choose to do it) you are already having. Swinging should never replace the sex in your relationship, or sex you have as a single person. Being realistic about your concerns as well as your desires is so important. If you don’t want to see your man passionately kissing another woman, say so. Or if you’re concerned about people coming inside you (even with a condom on) say so. These will form the rules that you swing by and should be adhered to. Yes, compromise where necessary, but if it’s a genuine concern, then stick to your guns. After all, confidence to say what you want, and what you don’t want is extremely sexy!

Having jealous or envious thoughts is entirely normal, trust me. Before I started swinging, falsely believed id never be able to see my man with another woman. In fact, I was struggling to get my head around the idea. So, what did I do? I educated myself, spoke to my partner about my concerns and moved slowly.

First Time Meeting A Couple

When I did meet another couple, I found that I was so excited myself at the prospect of having sex with another woman, I simply wanted us both to have as much pleasure as possible. I also found that the other woman’s fears were exactly the same as my fears, so by discussing freely with her, I discovered I was not alone in my apprehension.

We went for a vanilla date first, to simply chat and get to know one another. My first sexy swinging experience was a really positive and relaxed one; we discussed likes and dislikes, experiences and desires. There was no pressure to ‘do’ anything. The next time we met, we played, and it was thoroughly enjoyable. I experienced for the first time compersion, and it such a brilliant feeling, I wanted to have more and more positive experiences.

Discuss your wants and desires beforehand.

I can’t stress to you the importance of having a vanilla date, in a vanilla setting before you start swinging. My current boyfriend, S took me out for a coffee in the park for our first date; very vanilla by his standards. If you plan on meeting a couple, or a single person, with the potential to join them, moving the conversation away from a sexy setting is always best. Imagine meeting a couple, (having never swung) in a sex club, late at night, when everyone around was already having sex! This is simply not how it’s done! I’d be straight out the door! Chatting, discussing and being comfortable is what great swinging is all about. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it, you should only move as fast as the least experienced person. If you can discuss openly, over a coffee, then chances are you will discover if you are all on the same page or not. If you find that playing with them is step too far, or perhaps you don’t have the chemistry you are looking for, then be polite and thank them for their time. Don’t feel pressured to partake in something your not comfortable with.

First Time At A Club

It’s so exciting to attend a club! To be surrounded by like-minded sexy people, with your partner, for me, its bliss! You must check the club is suitable for you and your particular kinks before you attend. Some nights are only for the couple and single girls, some have nights for single guys, and couples and others have bisexual or TS nights. Also, there can be various themes or fetishes that are included on particular nights, and if these aren’t your thing, then you probably won’t enjoy it! So do check them out! Don’t feel any pressure to play on your first visit, again, take your time and soak up the atmosphere.

Most clubs have websites and members pages where you can read all about them, view the gallery and read FAQs as well as familiarise yourself with the rules and guidelines set out by the club themselves. Chances are, you will have to create a membership by filling in an online form and submitting a picture of yourself/s. Don’t worry; this is entirely normal! If you are allowed to bring your own booze to an event, then feel free to do so, just don’t drink too much.

Any reputable Club or private party will have a dedicated host or hostess that will happily show you around and answer any of your concerns or questions. Ask for a tour, especially if there is specialised equipment available.

First Time Playing in Private.

As well as attending swingers clubs, chances are you will be able to meet and play with other swingers in private. This can be in a hotel, privately rented apartment, their home, or a small gathering, (usually in a larger house). I always prefer to meet on neutral ground if playing in private, as I don’t like to feel I am intruding on another couples personal space; especially if they have a smaller house. It’s essential always to be discreet if meeting at a couples house as chances are their neighbours will have no idea what is going on. Parading around wearing not very much will undoubtedly raise a few eyebrows! It’s acceptable to bring a gift for the host couple, either a bottle of something or some flowers (great if given by a woman to another woman, as it takes the awkwardness out of it). Don’t overstay your welcome, after the playing has finished, head home to reconnect and relax either by yourself or with your partner. Lingering in someone’s home is weird!

Swinger Resort Vacation for the First Time

At one time, swinger cruises were the only type of swinger holiday available. But now, lifestyle resorts are becoming increasingly more popular. All-inclusive retreats for couples and or singles can be found online and are usually in hot, beachy, European locations, so you can strip off, in the sun and get sexy! You can also research swinger clubs abroad and the swinger site SDC often collaborate with clubs on an international basis so bring their members together, globally. I have attended one of these nights myself, and I met the best people! You can get a taste of all manner of nationalities and different kinks!

Although a swinger vacation does sound appealing to most, there are a few things to consider before you book. If you’re considering a cruise, do you want to be swinging every night? Or would you rather it be two or three nights out of the duration of your trip. In theory, I’d love to swing each night over the course of five nights, but realistically, is that what you are able to do? Would you rather it be a regular vacation, with some swinging thrown in for good measure? You don’t want to pay for an all-inclusive swinging holiday and not feel like swinging each night! Have a serious discussion about what you want, before you book anything.

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