First Time Swingers Making An Online Profile

First Time Swingers Making An Online Profile I have written before about online swinger dating profiles and how to make a great one! But with this article, I aim to offer you even more advice and expertise. 

You will not only get a breakdown of how to maximise your swinger dating profile, but I’m also going to explain what other people look for and how to appeal to the opposite sex! 

I’ll be sharing with you what’s a turn on and a turn off for both men and women and what couples look for in potential play partners! 

There’s no excuse to have a rubbish swinger dating profile! Welcome to my First Time Swingers Making An Online Profile Masterclass! 

Before we get started, I have also created a downloadable PDF swinger profile Cheat Sheet that gives you all the answers! All you have to do is pop over to my products and membership platform, select the one you want and hit download! It’s less than a £10er and gives you all the information you need to make your profile a hit! Are you tired of being approached by time-wasters? Or perhaps you are sick of not being taken seriously? If so, this is where you will find the answers! Discover more about my PDF at the end of this article! 


Your username is probably the most important thing you will write on your profile. Our opinions on people are formed in an instant, so think carefully. A great username is not overly sexualised but gives an idea of what you like without being explicit. Your choice of username conveys an important message. 

Call yourself something fun, and that’s what people will see you as. Call your self something sexy, and that’s what you will be perceived as. 

If you have a dominant personality, then choosing a name that oozes confidence is charm is a good idea! 

Over on my PDF, I give you examples of what usernames are really appealing! But here are a few of my top tips to help get you started! 

Single Women: think confident and sexy. First of all, you’re on a swingers site, so that needs to be celebrated! Many women simply don’t dare to do what you have done! Even if you are simply curious about the Lifestyle, deciding to explore is a bold move, so think about this when making a profile name! If you want to be taken seriously and be approached by swingers who see you as a person, and not a plaything, then don’t have a username that even hints at this.

Single Men: Again, confidence is really important, as is charm and coming across as genuine! On my PDF you will find lots of examples of how to convey all this information in your username alone! 

About You

Very often, this is the part that most of us struggle with! It is so hard to write honestly about what we want and what we like, what we wish to experience and what we are looking for. It doesn’t have to be a swinger dating profile that can leave us scratching our heads. In regular life, when we are asked about what we are looking for in a job, or why do we want to experience something, or what qualities we possess, we all come up with the same answer. 

‘I don’t really know…’

Yes, you do know; you just don’t know how to convey that to other people. 

Writing positively about ourselves is really hard. 

When put on the spot to ‘tell people about yourself,’ we often come up with generic responses that give nothing away. 

Do you know the number of profiles I have read that all sound the same? So much so that I get confused as to which I’ve read? The last thing you want to do is have yours lost in the abyss of 

‘I’m a regular guy/girl/couple/ looking for fun…’ 

Here’s what you need to do!

Thank people for checking out your profile. People are busy, and them taking the time to check out your profile should be appreciated. Being polite and portraying a positive image from the offset goes a long way with other people. 

It is essential to remember that you need to write about what you offer in terms of selling yourself. People often focus on what they would like to experience and not on what they bring to the table. By writing about what you are offering and how you can help other swingers achieve their fantasies too, you are giving people the opportunity to learn more about yourself and what to expect from playing with you! I am quite positive that you will have seen profiles that hone in on certain physical attributes and what can be achieved as if that is the only thing other people will find appealing. You are more than your body and more than a list of skills! 

Here’s a tip, if you are a single woman reading this, and you want to meet genuine swingers, who won’t harass you for explicit pictures, or immediately send you explicit pictures, then don’t be afraid to write about your standards. Convey the message that you are sexy and fun, but you don’t have time to send lots of nudes. You know what you like, and you wish to experience XYZ with couples/ singles. 

How To Make Your Swinger Profile Appealing

This is a question that I asked my followers on social media, so I know that a lot of people would like the answers! 

To make your profile appealing on a swingers website, you have to know what other people look for; what is a turn on and a turn-off. The differences between the sexes are huge, and what a couple looks for and what a single person looks for again are very different. It is important to remember that each of the sexes responds to different cues. And even if you are part of a couple, you will still react to these cues. 

If you are a single woman, to appeal to potential couples, you need to state what you are looking for and that you are confident and secure in your sexuality. This is very appealing indeed. 

Swinger couples hate drama! There is nothing more unappealing to a swinger couple than a single swinger unaware of what the swinger lifestyle entails. 

It is really important to remember that in most swinger couples, the women call the shots, and no wife is willing to let another woman get involved who she thinks might pose a threat to her relationship. A single woman who states what she wants, what she desires and makes it clear that yes, she’s interested, but is comfortable and secure in her single status and has a lot going on in her life right now, is going to get much further, than someone who says she is ‘looking for Mr Right.’ Even though many swinger couples are secure, this worry will still pass through the wife’s head. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to play with other women; she is simply responding to the cues. 

If you are a single woman looking for a man, then I believe the same principles should be applied. Remember that If you want serious swingers, you have to demonstrate that you don’t have time to mess around with anyone less than serious.

Think you won’t get much success with this approach? Think again! The minute you state that you control your sexual experiences and are a woman who knows what she wants, you become instantly more desirable. This doesn’t just work in the swinger community, by the way, it works in regular life too! 

People who say they are up for anything and have really explicit naked pictures of themselves will only generate mediocre levels of interest. If you want to meet quality people, then present yourself as someone who knows what she wants and is in control of making it a reality. You want to be enticing, not explicit! Your pictures can still be erotic, without being over the top! Striking the right balance can easily be achieved by carefully placing towels (this works well when shot on black and white) and wearing clothes that are suggestive and sensual. 

What people find a huge turn-off, and I believe this applies to both men and women, is when they are presented with a huge list of someone’s insecurities. 

We all have parts of our bodies that we don’t like. We all wish we had bigger, better bits or were younger, thinner or less bald. I have seen so many profiles that self sabotage themselves in this way. Instead of embracing the positives, they write what is almost a disclaimer at the beginning of their profile. 

I once read a profile that began ‘we are not oil paintings’, and my immediate thought was ‘these people do not sound like fun!’

So what if you are 41 and not 21? So what if you are starting to lose your hair? These things are part of what makes you, you. You can’t change it, and you certainly shouldn’t discredit yourself for it or think others will see it as a negative. I know it can be hard to write positively about ourselves, and I’m not suggesting you lie, but instead of putting yourself down, include all the parts that you love! 

How To Message Other Swingers 

Ok, so you have made a great swinger profile; you have found someone you want to message, but now you are faced with the ‘type message here’ box, and your mind is blank. What do you say to fellow swingers? What can you say that they either haven’t heard already or make them want to respond? You know that you need to be genuine, but what should you write? 

The first thing I want to say is stop

Before you send that message, you have to ask why are you sending it? Do you really see yourself playing with this person? Are they someone you would consider meeting? Or are you simply messaging them because you are bored and they are online? 

One of the killer things that all people do, regardless of gender, sexuality, or relationship status, is simply sending a message without even reading the recipients profile first. 

How do I know they haven’t read my profile? Well, that is easy; if they had read my profile, they would know what I expect in a message and the types of swingers I am looking to meet, and they would have learnt that I’m not interested in anything less than what I want. This may sound like I’m unwilling to compromise or am somewhat aloof, but this is quite the opposite in reality. You can word these things in a way that is both charming and non-confrontational. 

So, read the profile first, look at the pictures and think, are they a good fit for me or us? Suppose a couple state they are only looking for a fully bisexual couple to play with, and you are a single straight male and decide to send them a message anyway? Immediately, they will know that you either a) have not read their profile or b) do not take your swinging very seriously after all; after all, why are you contacting them, unless out of boredom? 

I don’t understand why people choose to message couples and singles that are not an appropriate fit. After all, it is pretty disrespectful, and to me, it demonstrates a certain lack of integrity. Especially where a couple have stated that they are only looking for bi couples and you are a single male that gets in contact. Because let’s face it, what are you saying? Your saying, I know you wanted a Bi couple, but what about me? I’m a single straight male. I can’t offer you what you want, and I have decided to read your profile and approach you on the off chance…

Any clued up swinger guy knows this approach is never going to work. 

It’s the same for single females. If a single female states she only wants to meet couples, then take her word for it. Please don’t send her messages on the off chance she will succumb to your charm. 

If you choose to message her anyway, what your saying is, I know you know what you want, but never mind that, here’s a message demonstrating that I either have read your profile and have chosen to ignore it or haven’t bothered to read it. Oh, never mind, here’s a picture of my dick. 

This is a huge turn off! If a single woman wants to be contacted by men, she will say so. If a couple wants to be approached by men, they will say so. 

Writing To Other Swingers 

So what to write in your first message? Let’s presume that yes, these people are a good match for you and yes, you like what you see.

The last thing you want to do is blow it by sending them a message blander than a rich tea biscuit dipped in warm milk. Urgh!

Showing genuine interest is a good place to start! What you liked about their profile, their pictures and why you think you are a good match. What common interests do you both have? The more you write and engage and show that you have taken time to read what they are all about, the further you will get. I give you a template of what your first message to other swingers should include in my PDF. It’s straight forward to follow and will help to get the ball rolling! 

What Is Included In My PDF

I have also created a 5 page, downloadable PDF for one for men, one for woman and one for couples. Click on the ‘Extras’ section to access.

Within the PDF, you will discover my CHEAT SHEET, designed to teach you how to make your swinger profile stand out from all the others! 

I have done the hard work for you, meaning you can spend less time wondering what to write and more time having fun! 

My advice will set your profile apart from all the fakes and time wasters.

It contains all my insights on the following:

  • What women look for in male swingers.  
  • What men look for in female swingers (this really surprised me!).
  • What couples look for when searching online. 
  • How to be enticing and engaging for men, women and couples! 
  • What you need to do in order to be successful swingers. 
  • Easy to use scripts that can be followed when writing your profile and messaging other people. 
  • Advice on what photos to include and what pictures you need to avoid if you want any chance of success! 
  • Discover how to attract genuine swingers! 

To download the Cheat Sheet, click here! Then head to ‘Extras’ to access the download. You don’t have to be a member of my site, and the checkout is secure!

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