How Common Is Swinging?
How Common Is Swinging?When you think about swinging and sexual liberation, how far back do you go? In ancient history, there are a few examples of sexual promiscuity that you already may be familiar with. In Ancient Rome, Emperor Tiberius used to enjoy swimming with young male lovers. Messalina, the wife of Claudius, challenged the prostitutes of Rome to a competition to see how many men each could sleep with, in a single night.
These examples, however, are merely folk law fantasy and modern swinging, as we know it, is believed to of started much more recently.
What Is Swinging?
You may be surprised to learn that swinging is a kinky trend that couples have been enjoying and exploring since the ’60s.
The ‘swinging sixties’ introduced us to the birth control pill, sexual liberation and a shift in attitudes. Men and women were able to have sex, for pleasure, and not merely as a means to reproduce.
Terms like wife swapping, swinging, open marriages and Polygamy are quite similar, but they all have lots of differences.
An open marriage is usually where the husband and wife are emotionally exclusive with one another, but have sex, or enjoy sexual acts with others away from their partners. Whereas within a Polyamorous relationship, both partners form an emotional attachment with other people as well as sharing sexual intimacy with them.
Swingers, however, tend to enjoy having sex or sexual intimacy with one another and other couples at the same time. This can be full swap play or soft play, such as intimate kissing or oral. Swinger’s usually wish to remain emotionally exclusive within their relationships.
Why Do People Swing?
Non-monogamy can be, and is, practised for a variety of reasons. Us mammals are not meant to be sexually restricted, and my post on Why Do People Start Swinging gives you some in-depth information on one of my favourite topics! Human Nature!
People start swinging for a variety of different reasons. Not everyone is following the same path, and what some couples and singles enjoy is entirely different from what you may desire. Some people start swinging as they have voyeuristic fantasies and watching couples having sex within the comfort of a swingers party provides them with a safe, inclusive environment to do this.
Others like to be watched when having sex, and this can happen by attending swinging clubs and parties, and getting down to it in full view!
I have said it before, and I will repeat it again. There are no right and wrong ways to swing and why people start swinging is usually a combination of reasons. Sometimes they are curious and want to share fantasies in a friendly and fun environment. There arent any set rules for playing and in reality you might want to simply watch, dance, chat to new friends, share experiences and leave happy with your guy or girl.
Ok, so I haven’t conducted a poll. I can’t imagine standing in the street with a clipboard asking people for a few minutes of their time to talk about swinging would go down too well! However, a poll has been conducted in the US; it reported that 15 million Americans are enjoying the lifestyle. A study also carried out in the US said that 4% of adults practised some form of non-monogamy.
Here is the UK, its estimated that 1.5 million Brits have admitted to enjoying swinging.
You only have to check out a few of the online swinger sites to see how popular they are. SDC boasts that not only is it the worlds largest online swinger site but that it also has millions of members. The last time I logged in, over 29000 swingers were using the site. Fab swingers, which is UK based, boasts over 200,000 members. The sub-Reddit group for swingers that I am also part of, (obviously) has currently 181,000 subscribers. And finally, Swinging Heaven, the UK based online swingers site has over 1.9 million members.
I think these statistics go to show how popular swinging is becoming!
Is Swinging Good or Bad?
Being involved in the lifestyle comes with its fair share of positive and negatives. Some people enjoy swinging as part of their day to day lives and enjoy it to the max! Whereas others only experience the swinging lifestyle a few times a year on vacation when they dont have the kids. Of course, it comes with its dose of risks and dangers, but it also has some fantastic perks!
Swinging is still considered a taboo subject among many, especially when Bisexuality, BSDM, and people who identify as trans are thrown into the mix. I would say that not all people are open to the idea of swinging, and many swingers are cautious about who they tell. People swing for different reasons, and everyone’s kinks are unique to them. I, of course, believe swinging to be a great thing, but there are times it’s not always the best course of action. Swinging won’t fix an already broken relationship, and opening up about your enjoyment in the lifestyle can harm other areas of your life. However, it can also strengthen your relationship privately through reconnecting. Swinging allows for complete honesty and non-judgemental discussion to flourish between you and your partner.
Who Enjoys Swinging?
Who fits the demographic profile for a swinger or swinger couple?
Picture a ‘typical’ swinger? Who do you envision? Someone who’s perhaps older? Heterosexual? Wealthy? Married? Middle class? All of the above? Yes, I did too, before I started swinging!
Some parties I have attended, have indeed attracted people who fit this profile perfectly. But most swingers clubs or parties I’ve frequented have attracted a mixed crowd. Perhaps its because I live in London that the parties I attend have a more diverse group, but generally, the ‘lifestyle;’ is enjoyed by young and old alike.
You dont have to be married to swing, or in a long term relationship. Neither do you have to of been previously monogamous to then start swinging.
Some couples are in monogamous relationships; married or together for years before they start swinging and others get together and start swinging from the off!
It is easy to make the presumption that within swinger couples, the man is heterosexual and the woman is Bisexual. Although this is relatively common, you should never presume a person’s sexuality. I’ve met straight single swingers, Bisexual couples and Bisexual single people who all want a piece of the swinging action!
Why Is Swinging Becoming Popular?
Swinging offers a modern and progressive answer to an age-old problem. Its a healthy, natural and lot more realistic than pair bonding with sexual exclusivity. For many people being sexually exclusive with one person for the rest of their lives just isn’t going to happen! Whether you identify as straight, Bisexual or Gay, getting your rocks off with the same person isn’t realistic! So what’s the real alternative? Swinging!
You get to keep all the emotional connection and exclusivity you have with your loved one, whilst having great sex with others! What’s not to like! And If you are a single swinger, you can join couples for drama free sex, without running the risk of becoming too emotionally invested in one person. After all, swinger couples are not looking to ‘date’ you, and neither are you looking to ‘date’ them.
Dating apps, swinger websites, hook up sites, and the online world, in general, has skyrocketed in recent years. Meeting potential couples has never been easier, thanks to the rise in apps and online dating. You can find out whos near you, what they like and their availability all in a matter of seconds. Although I’m not a huge fan of dating apps, I have to admit; they can be useful! They are proving a prevalent method with younger, newer swingers who perhaps have already met their partners through a dating app site.
Another reason why swinging is becoming popular is that female sexuality is now being celebrated more than ever before. The fact that some swingers clubs are female-led shows just how influential females are within the swinging community. Women can embrace their sexual nature and can attend a swingers club safely, that is run by women, for women and feel perfectly comfortable about doing so.
Swinging isn’t as male-dominated as it once was. Ladies love sex too and can attend clubs solo, or with other women.
People wrongly believe that Bisexuality has suddenly become more popular. It has not. It’s always been part of human nature.
We are now embracing different sexualities instead of encouraging people to suppress them. A man can be happily married and have children with his wife but identify as Bisexual. Through swinging, he can explore this side of his personality and sexuality. Likewise, a woman can be in a committed relationship with a man and use swinging as a means to explore her sexual preferences.
The reasons why we have sex has changed. No longer are we having sex with our boyfriend or girlfriend to make babies, instead, we are using sex as an expression of self. We can be as naked as we want, try out a wide variety of positions, get advice from sex experts, try cuckolding or visit a sex club in the city dressed in our finest lingerie.
Bisexuality is more accepted than it used to be; however, there is still some stigma attached to men who identify as bi. I hope that in time society can move away from this, and view it as A) perfectly normal and B) pretty damn sexy!Follow me on social media