How to Enjoy Your First Orgy

When we think about group sex, swinging and non-monogamy, we often have connotations of a writhing mass of bodies, sexually charged atmospheres and all manner of body parts going here, there and everywhere. Now, there have been situations in the past that I’ve been involved in that haven’t been too dissimilar to this. These en mass free for all orgys do happen, and if that’s your thing then fill your boots, or your mouth, or whatever else you want filling and get stuck in! 

In this post, I aim to give you a real insight into How to Enjoy Your First Orgy, what an orgy is like, and the steps you can take to make sure you have not only a sexy time but a safe one too! When researching this topic, aside from the um practical investigation I conducted, I also looked at what was available from porn sites to see what people are exposed to before they participate in a real orgy. Let’s just say I didn’t find the videos overly educational, and I’m pleased I conducted my own research first! So, before you dive headfirst into a rugby scrum of naked bodies ( oh I like the sound of that!) make yourself a drink, lie back and let your favourite girl give you the low down on all things orgy! 

The Reality of an Orgy 

Porn and Hollywood have a lot to answer for! If you find yourselves at a sex club or party, then chances are the surroundings will be pleasant, plush even, but not quite a super swanky las vegas penthouse suite. Neither will there be lots of leggy pornstars with enhanced breasts getting fucked while they moan and groan over the slightest touch. If you are attending a regular orgy, ( like I hope you are and not a porn style one! ) then you have to be prepared to see and potentially play with a lot of different types of people!

Some parties are more exclusive than others, especially smaller or more expensive ones, but even then, sex clubs are there to be enjoyed by all. Tall people, short people, young, old, muscly or rocking the Dad body! When it comes to swinger parties, and especially orgies, they are pretty inclusive! I have enjoyed the ones I have participated in, but haven’t found them that fulfilling, as I haven’t achieved orgasm while having sex. 

Common Myths Surrounding Orgy’s 

For many, when they think of an orgy, an image of Hugh Heffner, surrounded by playboy bunnies, sprawled out on circular bed comes to mind. Please don’t assume that it’s wrong that this is the image we associate with orgys; it is merely that this is the image Heffner wanted to portray. After all, by publishing a picture where ten sexy twenty-something-year-olds surrounded him, all willing to get down and dirty, all the same time, he was displaying his wealth and status to the world. What he was saying is ‘ I’m sexy, I’m open-minded, and all these women want me’.

But is this just a myth cooked up by Hollywood? I’m afraid so. I’m, sure there are parties and orgys like this, but would I attend? Hell no! I like a bit of variation to my swinging. I’m sure those playboy bunnies are great, but give me some real bodies any day! 

My Orgy Experience 

As I mentioned, to write this post, I did do some investigative research first, and I can now confirm that no, it wasn’t like being in the playboy mansion, but neither was it a bad experience. It was, well, hot! Literally and metaphorically hot! There were probably 30 people (self-included) spread across several purposely placed beds which had then been covered in throws and satin scatter cushions. I removed all my clothes and was fucked from behind while I sucked on another guys cock. My boyfriend then pleasured another woman with his fingers at the same time, while he continued to fuck me. Gradually we went further into the orgy, pleasuring and fucking other people, all the time changing condoms and having safe sex. It was quite amazing to be involved in such a sprawling mass of sexual energy. I remember laying underneath one woman and eating her pussy while she was fucked from behind. 

There were bodies everywhere, low moans and groans and grunts as couples devoured one another, at one point an Irish guy took my face in his hands and whispered that he had wanted to fuck me all night. He moved to kiss me passionately, but I pulled back, 

‘no’ I said, ‘ just fuck me’. He looked slightly crestfallen but continued. 

Is an Orgy Safe? 

I believe it’s hard to have a completely safe orgy experience when playing on mass. With smaller numbers, it is much easier to ensure everyone wears a condom and should that condom break you can quickly and easily remove yourself from the situation to rectify it. Although I always practice safe sex, I did find it trickier to insist that the condoms were changed between each partner. Sadly some men looked at me like I was unreasonable in my request and that in its self was off-putting. 

Where Can You Have Orgys? 

Most swinger clubs have spaces, usually large beds with cushions, that are designed explicitly for orgys. But you can also have them in other settings such as BDSM playrooms and private play areas in clubs. Of course, if you are attending a smaller meet, then the most likely place will be beds or those corner shaped sofas!

What To Wear to Enjoy Your First Orgy? 

For the orgys I have attended, I have removed my clothes before joining in. This was for two reasons, first of all, it was sweltering in the club, and the dress I was wearing was tight and sticking to me. And secondly, I didn’t want my stockings or suspenders to get caught or snagged by accident, so I figured it was best I took everything off first. I completely understand that removing all your clothes might be a step too far, and there is no hard and fast rule for what you should of shouldn’t remove. Check out my post on what to wear for a swingers party for more information on how to dress appropriately! Most people partaking in the orgy had removed everything, but if you want to leave a few items on then again, no ones going to instruct you otherwise! 

Do Bisexual People Partake In Orgys? 

Yes and unless its a strictly heterosexual swinging party then you can expect to see Bisexual people joining in the orgy. I, for one, have no issues with seeing Bisexual men and women enjoying sex, and, seeing as I am Bisexual, I actively participate in and thoroughly enjoy sex with women. Some men have said they don’t enjoy seeing men having sex or enjoying sex acts with other men, and if you are experiencing an orgy, then I suggest you prepare yourself to see all types of sexy situations. I have found orgys to be very inclusive, so having an open mind is essential. 

Organizing An Orgy

Again, porn and Hollywood are responsible for leading us to believe that we can arrange an orgy with our vanilla friends. I only have one word of advice for you if you are considering this. Don’t. Please don’t do it! ( ok, that’s four words) Seriously, you should always try to keep swinger world and vanilla world separate. Don’t be tempted to mix the two, especially when wanting to arrange an orgy. There are a load of places to find swingers. If you need a little inspiration, check out where to meet swingers, for all my inside knowledge. If you want to attend an orgy, then swingers clubs and parties, especially those with ‘orgy rooms’ are the ones to attend. Check out the facilities online before you visit to ensure its right for you. 

Having A Safety Word 

A code word is especially useful when attended an orgy as part of a couple. I have found that in certain situations, it can be challenging to keep track of where your partner is or know what they are participating in. Sometimes mid orgy action isn’t always the best place to start verbalising your concerns about what is going on around you. If a situation or individual is making you feel uncomfortable in any way, withdraw from the activity and tell your partner the safe word. They will know you want to stop participating in the orgy. 

Consent and Orgys

Consent is always crucial when we are discussing sex! Just because there’s a writhing mass of bodies, it doesn’t mean that consensual sex goes out the window. Giving consent and receiving consent are two fundamentals to having a great orgy experience. Before you do anything with anyone always ask first! Always! It may look like a free for all, but sex should never be approached in this way! How would you feel if a guy just put his fingers inside you without asking, or a girl began eating your pussy, but you didn’t enjoy sex with women? You should always ask! 

So there you have it, How To Enjoy Your First Orgy in 10 top tips! If you are attending your first swingers club and want to try an orgy, then remember, there’s no hard and fast rule into how you should enjoy it, or what you should participate in. Orgys can be great for first-time or seasoned swingers. Never feel pressured into joining in, at times I’ve watched orgys while having sex and I found that to be quite enjoyable too! 

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