How To Host Swinger Parties- The ULTIMATE guide 

How To Host Swinger Parties I have wanted to write this post for quite a while. Its been niggling away at me. A dull ache, my desire to share with you my loyal readers, an intimate account of what goes on behind closed doors. In this post, you will discover how I like to play, and what S and I get up to under the sheets! 

To get things started, here are a few of my top tips for hosting swinger parties:

  • Having somewhere guests can get changed in private is a good idea. A downstairs bathroom or smaller bedroom is perfect for this. 
  • You may want to find an alternative space for guests to leave their belongings. Having a cloakroom is an advantage!
  • If you are providing booze for your guests, or at least some of the drinks, having ice buckets in the social areas and keeping bottles of prosecco or beers on ice is a nice touch.
  • Using mood lighting and soft lighting instantly sets a seductive tone!
  • Using essential oils in a diffuser or in an oil burner (providing you don’t leave it unattended) is an excellent way of creating a sweet-smelling atmosphere.
  • You can never have too many condoms. Have them available in all playrooms along with bottles of lube for happy hassle-free play!  
  • Place bottles of hand sanitiser, tissues and wipes in playrooms. You want to ensure all bodily fluids are cleaned up properly!
  • Have a strict policy on mobile phones.

Not only are you going to get all the best advice on hosting swinging parties (so your parties are destined to be a sexy success) I will also be drawing from my own experiences of parties we have attended to share with you seriously seductive scenarios that are guaranteed to take your own party from a rookie romp to mouthwateringly mesmerising. 

So, Shall we? 

The Truth About Swinging

Attending swinger parties with your partner and going to swinger clubs is a relatively easy method to have great fun with like-minded couples who enjoy the lifestyle. Most of the time, you find a club, make a membership, book a party and attend. Swinger clubs are great. All the logistics are taken care of. 

Yes, they can be nerve-wracking to attend; I fully appreciate the nervous anticipation, but most of the hard work has been done for you. The couples have been vetted; the venue is clean and tidy, there’s very often staff to serve drinks, cleaners to pick up wet towels and generally, you having a great time is all you need to worry about. 

But what if you want to host your own party? Perhaps you have a group of swinging besties that you want to hang out with? Like-minded kinksters who love the lifestyle and who can’t get enough of the action? Don’t worry, my Guide To Hosting Swinger Parties is all you will need! 

Paid Parties vs Free Parties

Over the years, I have seen parties advertised via swinger websites. Small gatherings that are held usually at a private address and those organising ask for a fee to attend, usually £30-40 per couple. I’m not too fond of the idea of paying to attend a small party, especially if its held in someone’s house.

When you start introducing a fee, people’s expectations rise, and chances are they might not feel the ‘fee’ is worth it if they don’t have a great time. After all, if you are attending a large swingers club with 100 or so people, chances are there will be someone you will enjoy playing with. However, if there are only 6-8 people, and you don’t hit it off, you’re probably not in for a great night! And in reality, you have paid £40 to go to someone’s house! 

Hiring A Private Home To Host A Party

What happens if you want to host a party, but you don’t have room? Or perhaps you don’t want loads of swingers all over your house? 

Hiring a private venue is one option. I have attended parties that have been held in private hire apartments, with each couple paying their share of the hire fee. This method of splitting the cost is fair and takes the pressure off one person having to foot the bill. 

If you dont want to turn your own home into a swinger sex den, then hiring a venue is a good idea, just make sure that nothing gets damaged or broken as it will be your responsibility to pay for any damages! 

How Many People Should You Invite To A Swinger Party? 

We have to talk about the practicalities of hosting an event. How much space do you have available and do you want to keep the swinging to designated rooms only? How many people can comfortably fit in the bedrooms or the lounge? You don’t want your guests to be too squashed up! There have been parties I have attended where the sex and any other swinger activities have been strictly confined to the bedrooms, and the lounge areas were for socialising only.

Some parties do offer food and its custom to BYOB. Do you want people close to the food and drink if they are getting down and dirty? Probably not! Keeping the areas separate from one another is perhaps best. 

Who To Invite To Parties 

The art of a great Swinger Host or Hostess is someone friendly, welcoming, inclusive and an experienced matchmaker. There’s no point inviting six single straight guys and a Bisexual couple as chances are they aren’t going to want to play. It would be best if you asked people to attend who have similar desires. You don’t need to know about their fetishes and kinks in-depth, but having a rough idea of what they like is always wise. 

Chances are there will be guests at the party who are perhaps first-time swingers, or not as experienced as others. It is your job as Host or Hostess to speak with them, answer all their questions and calm any of their fears. Again, there’s no point having four experienced, full swap different room couples and one couple who are first time swingers who only want to experience soft swap.

It is likely that all the experienced swingers will get down to it! By inviting couples and singles, all of whom have different levels of familiarity with the lifestyle, you will be creating an environment that is relaxed and informal. Too many experienced swingers can quickly become cliquey, and if you’re a newbie couple, that’s hugely off-putting!

No one wants to be sat feeling like a spare part, especially if they have attended a party solo. Chances are they will be worried about meeting couples and don’t want to cause any drama in relationships. Helping single swingers feel relaxed is crucial to everyone having a great time. 

Inviting your guests well in advance is good practice! Last minute.com is not ideal when arranging swinger parties. If couples have to arrange childcare or juggle other responsibilities around, then the more notice they are given, the better! Having clear, concise information about where the party is and what time it starts, along with any rules or guidelines that need to be followed should be communicated well in advance. 

It is vital to remember that not everyone you invite is going to show up. Even if they say they will, someone, at some point, will flake. And chances are they won’t let you know until five minutes before the party starts, or even the day after! There’s not a great deal you can do, but responding negatively is best avoided. If they notify you by message, then simply reply saying ‘no worries’. If they don’t get in touch, then brush it off. There will be plenty of great swingers out there in the future! 

It’s understandable that when attending a swingers party of any size, chances are the guests want to be discreet. And, as the host, you probably don’t want a barrage of people all turning up and blocking your neighbour’s drives. Give your guests specific instructions about where to park, or how to reach you. 

Making the house evident to the guests, in a non-swinger way (no sign saying ‘Swingers This Way’) is a great idea. Perhaps have some fairy lights around the front door and inform your guests that ‘your’s is the house with the lights’ is a good idea. Do NOT to follow this advice at Christmas! 

Working together to host a great party takes skill, but if you both have specific roles, or strengths, then you should use them to your advantage. S is a professional shmooze! He’s charming, flirtatious, and confident; He can chat to anyone from first-time swinger couples to boardroom directors, S is a people person through and through. I am delighted to stand back and allow him to schmooze! While S is excellent with people and building up a rapport, I’m the organiser when it comes to swinging. It helps if you have one person to take care of the guests by socialising, mingling and generally hosting, whilst the other pours the champagne, shows the guests where the bedrooms are and offers canapes. 

You need to think carefully about where you want your guests to have access to and where is off-limits. You may have a large private garden and conservatory that is perfect for socialising. If this is the case, nosy neighbours won’t be able to overlook. On the other hand, you may not have excessive space for entertaining, and have to keep the guests confined to the living room. Do you want your guests to have access to your bedroom, or do you want to keep your private space off-limits? 

Where To Find Couples For Swinging 

There are several places you can find swingers, the first and most obvious being online! (Isn’t it always) Joining a swinger dating site, or couples dating site will give you access to hundreds of swingers in your local area. All with their own ideas about what makes sex great. If you find swingers who you do gel with, then exchanging messages and going on a vanilla date is the first step. 

After that, you can either invite them to a party you’re hosting or meet them for another date and play session and then invite them to a party! 

Through attending parties and clubs, I have met some swinger couples who I keep in contact with, and this has proved extremely useful when arranging private events. These couples live reasonably locally and are in communication via whats app. 

It would be best if you vetted people before you invite them. As I said earlier, you want to ensure that the swingers you do ask have similar interests.

I have seen adverts for house parties that give an address and a time and say ‘feel free to turn up’. In my book, this isn’t how it’s done. After all, if you are inviting people into your home, a level of trust has to be established. There have been occasions that couples have said ‘Please can they bring so and so along?’ Again, I am cautious, after all, why spend the time vetting swingers if other guests are going to bring people along who you dont know? I would advise that they can attend but only after a conversation with the host, preferably on the phone. 

Do you want to invite people who smoke? And if you do, where can they smoke? (Do you have an outside area that’s private?) And are your other guests ok playing with smokers? 

Setting up a WhatsApp or Kik chat group for the party is an excellent idea so that all members can chat freely and get to know one another, before the event. Sharing the usernames of the couples you have invited is a useful approach as the guests can see what one another are into and have a rough idea of how they might want to play. Group discussion is helpful, as it allows swingers to share their preferences and set boundaries. Your guests can swap details and talk about the swinging they enjoy. Perhaps they want to experience a threesome, or feel uncomfortable about anal? That way, there’s no risk of miscommunication on the night. You can also give specific instructions to your guests. i.e. ‘no red wine please- just had a new carpet fitted in the lounge’ or ‘please dont park in front of number 15, He’s a very nosy neighbour.’ 

What Makes A Great Swinger Party? 

We have discussed how to find swinger couples, and how to invite them to your party, but what makes a great swinger party? What are the ingredients required to ensure your swinger soiree is effortlessly fabulous and will leave your guests in awe? 

You can never start your planning and prep too early. Remember when I said don’t leave it last minute.com? If you want your party to be a success, then get organising it early on! If you are a swinger couple, then both taking on specific responsibilities is key. By working together as a sexy team, you will be organised in no time! If he is in charge of tidying up the garden and getting the decking clean and tidy, she might be in charge of making the nibbles and getting the guest bedroom or play areas ready. 

Chances are you will be providing something for your guests to drink, either alcoholic or non-alcoholic. (Always offer iced water, some swingers can be nervous!) My advice is to use plastic glasses, I know they aren’t the nicest of things, but glass and naked bodies and alcohol don’t tend to mix well, so sticking to plastic may be a good alternative. You don’t want your guests accidentally knocking over their drinks, if you provide plastic glasses, you minimise the risk! 

If you are providing food, or ‘nibbles’, then make sure they are of the variety that isn’t going to offend! Garlic mushrooms, garlic bread or stilton cheese, should be avoided! 

If you are using a bedroom as a play area, or a sofa, then using different bedding or a throw is a great idea. These can easily be washed or thrown away at the end of the night! 

Give your guests a tour of the areas as they arrive, especially if you have any specialised equipment, such as BDSM restraints or even a hot tub! 

I wouldn’t recommend sex in the hot tub, and chances are your guests may want somewhere to get changed into their swimwear. 

As well as changing the bed linen, it’s a good idea to have some extra towels available that can be washed at the end of the night or disposed of as your guests might want a shower afterwards. 

Having plenty of condoms and lube available is good practice. Leaving them visible in the play areas means there are no excuses as to why your guests can’t play safely

When hosting a party, you must create a relaxed atmosphere and ensure all the guests feel included in the action (regardless of whether they are or not). If a couple attends who are perhaps less experienced swingers, then you should still chat with them and flirt and check they are enjoying the night. It can be daunting if the more experienced couples get down to it, but you don’t feel ready to be involved. A good host or hostess spends time with all their guests, regardless of how ‘involved’ they are. 

My Must-Read Top Tips For Hosting Swinger Parties

  • I’m pretty confident that most couples won’t turn up dressed in their swinger lingerie. They will probably arrive in their regular clothes. Chances are they will want to get changed as the night progresses. This being the case, having somewhere they can get changed in private is a good idea. A downstairs bathroom or smaller bedroom is perfect for this. 
  • With the bedrooms being used for the action, you may want to find an alternative space for guests to leave their belongings. Having a cloakroom is an advantage!
  • If you are providing booze for your guests, or at least some of the drinks, having ice buckets in the social areas and keeping bottles of prosecco or beers on ice is a nice touch. Especially if you are chatting to other guests and want to encourage people to relax and help themselves. Otherwise, you may find yourself being continuously asked for another drink and having to make numerous trips to the kitchen! 
  • Using mood lighting and soft lighting instantly sets a seductive tone! Flickering lights, such as those realistic battery-powered tea light candles, are a great alternative to actual candles that could potentially be a fire risk! 
  • Using essential oils in a diffuser or in an oil burner (providing you don’t leave it unattended) is an excellent way of creating a sweet-smelling atmosphere. Try lavender or Sandalwood for seduction!
  • You can never have too many condoms. Have them available in all playrooms along with bottles of lube for happy hassle-free play! 
  • Having a basket of ‘essentials’ in the bathroom is a lovely touch. You could even have a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ basket! Body spray, moisturiser and lip gloss (my favourite) in one, deodorant, hair product and aftershave in the other! 
  • Have fun making a swinger party playlist! You want a mix of easy listening, relaxing tunes, or even chill out buddha bar music. 
  • Place bottles of hand sanitiser, tissues and wipes in playrooms. You want to ensure all bodily fluids are cleaned up properly! Your guests can’t expect you to do all the cleaning up! 
  •  It might be a good idea to place bins in each play area; you don’t want to be picking up other peoples condoms and used tissues! 
  • If you are using sex toys, or other people have brought them, then using them with condoms is a safe idea. Yes, they can be washed and sanitised, but that still poses a risk of fluids getting dripped on others as they are carried to the bathroom! Having a condom that can be quickly disposed of quickly and discreetly is so useful! 
  • A themed night could prove to be very popular indeed! Whether you choose to go for outfits as the theme (such as Halloween or sexy secretary look) or fetish theme, (mistress and slave) in my experience, even shy people love dressing up and getting into character. 
  • Have a strict policy on mobile phones. Some swingers will not take kindly to potentially having pictures taken of them, and quite rightly too. Having a no phones allowed in the playroom rule is advisable. The last thing you want is some idiot trying to film the action! 
  • Don’t be afraid to take the lead! Chances are if you are the hosts, your guests will look to you to get the party started! Don’t force people to play if they don’t want to, but initiating play with other swingers will help to get things moving! As the hosts, your guests will look to you for guidance, sitting there with your arms crossed is not going to send out a sexy message! 

Our Experience Of Private Swinger Parties

So, the part of the post that gets a little bit steamy! 

But let’s be honest, this is the part that I have been aching to share with you! So, if you have been wondering what thiskindagirl and S get up to under the sheets, with other swingers, here, exclusively for you is one of our private swinger party experiences. 

It started on the Monday with a call from C, the female half of the swinger couple P and C, who have been friends with S for several years. 

‘C’s arranging a house party’, he told me over a cup of Yorkshire tea. 

‘She said Sunday, and She’s also invited that couple we chatted to in Le Boudoir, the last time we all met.’

I cast my mind back a few weeks, and it settled on an attractive couple we had chatted to after we had finished playing with P and C in the club. 

‘I remember’ I replied. ‘So that would make six of us.’

A small intimate gathering on a Sunday evening? I knew it was naughty to play on a school night, but S and I were both working from home on Monday. 

‘Sure’ I smiled back at him. 

During the week, we messaged C and P to find out a little bit more about the other couple who were due to attend and discussed with them what we were comfortable with. 

Sunday arrived, and as I got ready, I also packed into my bag, my thigh high boots and my strap on. 

I chose to wear stockings and a red and black corset with suspender straps. I pulled my pink fluffy off the shoulder jumper on over the top and felt suitably naughty as I climbed into the car that night. 

Arriving at their plush, central London flat was pure luxury. From the street, we could see the interior, bathed in soft candlelight, beckoning us to come inside. C opened the door dressed in a black thong, an almost see-through black blouse and stripper heels. I kissed her cheek, and she led us into the lounge. 

After saying good evening to P, he went to fix us both a drink; mine was a G&T, lots of ice and lime please, leaving us with C and a single guy, T who had also turned up, at C’s request. 

After a short while of chatting, and making pleasant small talk and general flirting, there was a knock at the door. The next couple had arrived! How exciting! 

They were introduced to us as J and A, and immediately my eyes were drawn to her soft skin and full cleavage. She was a gorgeous looking woman! Settling themselves on the sofa, we began to discuss our likes and dislikes and how we were feeling about the night to come. After a while, I asked C where I could get changed, and she led the way to an enormous ensuite bathroom, complete with his, and hers sinks, and many beautiful bottles of expensive perfume, all jostling for space on the sleek marble surrounds. Fluffy white towels had been piled high and strategically placed, waiting, ready to be used later! Scented candles flickered, and the atmosphere felt provocative. 

Slipping off my jumper and mini skirt, I stood and looked at myself in the full-length mirror, and thought about how I was hoping to enjoy the taste of A’s body. I stepped into my thigh-high boots and applied a fresh coat of red lipstick. 

Heading back down the hall, I entered the lounge. The atmosphere was sensual, and I noticed that A had since removed her dress and was wearing heels and black underwear. We continued to flirt with one another, and after a short while, P suggested we head to the bedroom. 

Once in the bedroom, I instructed S to get undressed (well I am the boss) whilst C began to play with T. (her husband P is more of a voyeur, he likes to watch) A and J began to kiss, and I pulled A towards me, kissing her and feeling her body press up against mine. Her hands were caressing in between my legs. 

After some fantastic foreplay, I got my strap on told S to get on all fours, I used it on S for a while whilst he performed oral on A, while she sucked on J’s cock. C was now happily riding T, the atmosphere was amazing. Everyone was intimately entwined with one another. 

We continued to play for a while, swapping partners and condoms each time. I could see A was curious about my strap on and asked me if she could use it on S? 

S happily obliged and she fucked him whilst I sucked on Js cock, he groaned in enjoyment! I was surprised at how many positions could be accommodated on the bed! 

The party was relaxing, sensual and at the same time intensely exciting! 

At the end of the night, we were exhausted. 

S and I made our way back through to the lounge, and I peeled off my boots. He grinned at me and kissed me. 

‘Shall we go?’ he asked.

‘Take me home baby,’ I replied sleepily. 

It was 2 am before we got home, and as I lay in the bath that night, I thought about how I would share this story with you…

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