How To Meet Swingers

How To Meet Swingers You have had the conversation and decided that you want to explore the swinger lifestyle. Amazing!! Now, armed with condoms and an open mind, your both ready to take on another couple! But how to meet swingers? Is there some secret club or organisation? Do you ask in your existing friendship groups? Is there a mystery handshake to look out for? 

Here are a few top places to meet swingers:

online, social media, whats app groups…all can be used to meet swingers

Do not worry! As always, you have come to precisely the right place for all the answers! Let me educate you as to where you can find fellow swingers, in this, my seriously sexy guide. Whether your first-time swingers or single people who have swung before and want to continue, I have all the best advice, hints and tips! It is imperative to remember that we are all turned on by different means and what suits you, may not suit another couple. How much play you are willing to engage in should be established first as some methods of meeting fellow swingers can be more intense than others. If you have never swung, participating in a full swap BDSM party is probably not the best idea! Have a good read through before deciding! 

Swingers clubs

Found throughout the UK, and internationally, swingers clubs are fantastic places to meet fellow couples when researching how to meet swingers. Especially if you attend on their ‘prime night’- usually a Saturday. You can search google for ‘swinger clubs near me’ or search the internet for reputable ones. The best ones out there will have a strict membership policy and a list of rules and regulations you have to comply with, i.e.; no photography, no excess alcohol.

A great indicator as to the quality of the club is by how professional the set up is. Is it a pre-booked ticketed only event? If so, then chances are the members attending have been vetted and approved. These types of establishments are the ones that I like to visit. Sexy, discreet and ‘professional’. If the club states they have a range of different facilities, fetish rooms and security on the door, you can be sure they invest a lot of their time and income into ensuring their members have a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Choose and appropriate club!

Don’t be put off by the price; I will happily pay £100 for a couples ticket. Remember, quality is always better than quantity. I’m happy to pay for a classy, more intimate experience over a venue with lots of couples, but with no dedicated playrooms.

If you compare this to the average cost of dinner for two and champagne, then there’s not a great deal of difference. Before you attend most clubs, you have to sign up to be a member; submit a photo of your selves along with the contact form featuring a few necessary details, and wait for your reply. Swingers clubs do sometimes have themed kink nights or fetish events so once you are accustomed to the club you could explore a little more, should that be something that interests you? 

 I’ve had great experiences with couples I’ve met in some clubs and exchanged details with them at the end of the night, to then meet them in private a few weeks after. 

Swinger clubs can be sensual experiences. There’s no ‘pressure’ to perform, and you can do as little or as much as you want. 


Type ‘how to meet swingers’ into google, and you will be met with listings for adult dating sites, swingers club details, swingers party listings, and hook up sites. Most websites such as fab swingers and ask you to sign up and make a profile for free, before upgrading to a membership.

The online profile is a place you can post pictures of yourselves, list your kinks, your experiences and discuss your desires. It’s pretty much a dating site for couples, but with the content moderated to ensure it stays within the community guidelines. Here you can exchange messages, chat in forums, exchange pictures and arrange parties and private meets.

Most sites also list parties and events, as well as details for small business who make bespoke swinger or fetish wear, as well as photographers and adult filmmakers. I’m a big supporter of these sites! It’s worth signing up and paying for the membership just to get acclimatised to the swinger way of life. Remember, always use the website together, and don’t post any overly explicit content. 

Regular dating sites 

I had my reservations about using a ‘regular’ dating app, I wasn’t looking to meet a swinger couple at the time, and I wouldn’t recommend it for established couples as there are far easier ways to meet other couples. Still, at the time, I was single and already dating using the app. When the couple swiped right on me, I instantly knew what their game was, and we exchanged messages. Being the seasoned swinger I am, I was able to tell if they had potential or not (they had) and we arranged to meet for an initial chat before we went any further. I’m not too fond of the idea of people in relationships having tinder or bumble on their phones as the apps themselves are quite intrusive. But if you are a single person, they can be great fun. 

Social Media

social media is massive!

Social media is the way forward in 2020 and typing your interests into the search bar of Instagram or Facebook is another way to find swingers. There is so much intensity when following someone on Instagram. They upload content, you like it, you reply to their stories, you see fresh content, and so it goes on and on.

You can find some great couples and groups on social media, as well as clubs and parties that are holding events near you. If your interested in meeting like-minded couples who are into the same fetish as yourselves, then checking out social media is a great place to gain inspiration #latexdomminantnakedsub, anyone? You could meet couples via social media, but my advice is to attend a swinger party or sign up to a site like first, to get comfortable with the lifestyle before you explore anything else. 

Fetish clubs

Fetish clubs are great fun to attend! You can let loose and immerse yourself in the world of kink. Some fetish clubs are very specialised, so definitely do your research first. Ask about them on one of the chatrooms on or fab swingers. Which ones have people attended, and if they have, what experience did they have? Was it somewhere they would recommend? 

Specialised fetish clubs can be expensive to get in, so its vital you do your research first. Also, they may not be swingers clubs per se and instead aimed at female domination, where dominant women can attend either alone, or with their submissive partners. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that I find these clubs hugely rewarding, but be aware that couple swapping may not be on the cards.  

Private group meets

Perhaps you have signed up to a website, and have exchanged messages with another couple? After a few weeks of chatting, you are now feeling confident about meeting them. A private group meet is the next step. Sometimes couples will tell you of a party they will be attending so that you can all meet there, but if not, then a private group meet may be suggested. A private party could be with two couples, or slightly larger with four to six couples.

Private events take place in rented apartments, large homes (you need a lot of space for all those couples) or hired specialist settings such as dungeons. (depending on your particular kinks) Private meets are usually small informal events, the ones I have attended, via chatting on have been intimate, relaxed and friendly. The couple hosting or arranging the party is usually a mature couple who know how to create a comfortable and sensual experience. 

Swinger cruises or resorts

Swinger vacation!

I have seen a considerable surge in these over the last few years! Whatever we swingers are doing, we must be doing something right! When I first started swinging, there were a few swinger cruise companies that advertised, and I attended a few international swinger events.

Now with the rise of social media, everyone wants a slice of living their best swinger life, abroad. Travel pictures, dreamy destinations and swinger hot spots are all featured on Instagram. There’s a lot of great information out there about swingers resorts and holidays. Within the community, you can find members that live internationally. Four-way dinner date in Rome? Yes, please! Sometimes the swinger cruise might last a week, or you may book for an all-inclusive week-long holiday in sunny Spain. Whatever you decide, be sure to choose a reputable company who understand their members’ needs. 

How Do You Know If A Couple Swings?

You may find yourselves in a setting that resonates with swingers, kinky people who enjoy the lifestyle, or variations of it. And, within these settings, you might want to approach other couples. But how do you know they are into the lifestyle I hear you ask? Let’s say you are attending a burlesque show or an event at a sex shop- like a book signing, chances are if you find yourselves at any one of these, you have an open mind, and chances are the people around you will also have an open mind. So how do you know?

Let me introduce you to The Swinger Symbol. This universally accepted symbol of a black circle with a red background featuring a swing in the middle has been implemented as worldwide as a means of identifying other couples. Now in 2020, there is a full range of products out there featuring the symbol. From discreet little charms and necklaces to backpacks and mugs (take that one to work!) there are ways to discreetly advertise your love for the lifestyle without shouting it from the rooftops. So, when you are at a nudist sauna or in a sex shop in Soho, and you see someone advertising their love for the lifestyle, say hello, it might just be your lucky day! 

Come and get involved on social!

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