Is Swinging Cheating?

Is Swinging Cheating? Many people ask this question, and for good reason. If you type swinging into Google, cheating and swinging are displayed as popular topics. It is easy to see why people might associate swinging with cheating, as we are talking about having sexual intercourse outside of your relationship. First, we have to establish what exactly cheating is and why men and women view it differently. 

Is Swinging Cheating?

Cheating is the act of being deliberately deceitful behind your partners back for your gratification. Cheating can take on many different forms, such as seeking out emotional attachment with another person, spending time secretly with someone else or sending and deleting secret text messages or emails. It can also be in the form of sharing intimacies with another person, such as kissing and sex behind your partners back. Cheating isn’t always physical, it can take on many disguises. One similarity found in all forms of deception is that you are behaving in a deliberately deceitful way. 

Differences Between Men and Women 

Ask a man to define cheating, and he most probably describes it as sex. With or without an emotional connection. This is pretty much the same way he would view casual sex. Many men see cheating as a physical act that can be done without heartfelt investment. 

Women, however, view cheating as an emotional affair. ( This is partly because many women struggle to separate love from sex, whereas for men the separation of the two is far more comfortable) Women associate secret texting, meeting for private coffees and sharing personal details about one another’s lives all as acts of emotional cheating. 

A man can have secret texts with another woman, never have sex with her, and his wife will still accuse him of cheating. Although he hasn’t physically cheated, in her opinion, he has emotionally cheated by sharing with the other woman intimate, secret texts. 

All couples define cheating slightly differently, and you will have your own opinions as to what constitutes cheating behaviour. If you decide to become emotionally involved with another person (other than your partner) by whatever means and break your partner’s trust then for me, you have cheated. If you feel the need to delete and hide certain things from your partner and deceive them, then that to me, is dishonest behaviour. 

Some couples confuse swinging and cheating

I can’t tell you what rules to follow, and I’m sure you will discuss what constitutes cheating, but an agreement must be made before you can move forward into the swinging lifestyle. 

If Swinging Isn’t Cheating, What Is It?

Swinging is a healthy outlet for our innermost sexual urges and desires. The urge to have sex is part of our DNA, we can’t turn it off! If we already have all the emotional attachment we desire from our chosen partner, then the urge to have sex outside of this attachment; to get that oxytocin hit we all crave, it simply becomes just that, a physical desire you crave as a human being.

We cant turn it off; it is pre-programmed into us. We can suppress it; be miserable, act on it; cheat, or embrace it with our partners, i.e swinging! Sex while swinging is to merely complement an already existing excellent sex life between an emotionally exclusive couple. A successful swinger relationship is about building honesty. It’s about sharing, understanding and exploring sexual desires and fantasies. To Swing is to create a safe environment for both parties to express parts of their character that is usually kept hidden.

How to Avoid Cheaters in Swinging Relationships

Some couples confuse swinging with cheating, and these people you need to avoid at all costs! 

There have been times when I have questioned other swingers intentions towards me, as I have had suspicious as to the context in which I have contacted or approached. I’m always happy to discuss potential meetings or chat about sex with swinger couples via email or in a what’s app chat group. If you suspect you are being contacted without the other person’s knowledge, this should raise concern. If you are being sent messages and explicit pictures with a follow-up text of x doesn’t know I’m contacting you, then flatly refuse to engage in conversation. This isn’t swinging! Its deceitful behaviour! 

If you delete it, its probably deceitful!

Deceitful behaviour is called cheating! 

Is Swinging Suitable for All Relationships? 

Swinging won’t fix a bad relationship, and it certainly is not suitable for everyone. If your partner has cheated before and you want to make things work, offering to try swinging isn’t the answer. Swinging needs to come from a place of love and trust, and turning to swinging as a last resort is not a good idea. Does this mean swingers will never cheat? No. If a person wants to cheat, sadly, they will. Swinging isn’t a one size fits all answer to relationship problems, and it has to be respected on both sides for a lasting, successful partnership.

For it be a useful, helpful tool in any relationship, an understanding of what swinging is and the boundaries you establish need to be addressed first. Coming to a mutual agreement about transparency and interactions with other swinger couples is one way to ensure all parties feel entirely comfortable.

Top Tips for Avoiding Cheating Situations

  • If having webcam sessions with other swinger couples ( a great introduction to the lifestyle) then always make sure everyone is present in the room. If you suspect that its only one person from the other couple. Turn it off. 
  • Set up a whats-app group with other swingers, everyone should be free to chat without secrecy. 
  • If you make an online profile on a swingers site, you both need to have access to the passwords and usernames. 
  • You should set the username as something that is couple positive; this presents yourselves as a rock-solid couple and is equally respectful to both parties. MrandMrsKink, for example. 
  • If you include pictures on your swingers profile, have the main profile picture as the both of you and only one or two selfie-style shots. The most attractive images on swinger sites are those of couples together. 
  • Never decide to make swinger plans without consulting the other person first. This is very disrespectful and can be a form of coercion. Presuming they are ok to go along with it, or simply arranging it behind their back is not swinging!  

I hope this post has answered your questions in regards to is swinging cheating? If you have any more questions, then please get in touch! Loves, thiskindagirl xx

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