Male Bisexuality And Swinging

Bisexuality and the swinging lifestyle! Two of my favourite topics, brought together in a juicy little post, that I can’t wait to share with you! 

So, hands up if you’re Bi?

Ladies yep, I can see your hands. Guys, can I see yours?

Oh no, he’s thinking about it, he’s not sure, no, he’s put his hand down. 

The Truth About Swinging And Male Bisexuality 

Does this sound familiar? I believe there is a gross double standard when it comes to discussing Bisexuality and swinging. It appears that bisexual women are embraced and encouraged within the lifestyle. Seeing two or three women having sex together is considered a sexual delight among many people. And for some, it even features on their ‘bucket list’.

It’s true; many people love to see ‘hot’ females having sex and playing with one another. I’m sure you can well imagine the number of messages, emails and questions I receive asking me for advice on ‘How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Have Threesome With Another Woman? 

The answer my friends is a lot. 

But what about the other dynamic? What if you are one of the many males out there who want to experience a Bisexual MMF threesome? This scenario isn’t considered to be as desirable as the first, so, why is this? 

Why is it acceptable for women to be openly Bi, but when men admit their sexual preferences, they face bias, homophobic responses and are in some cases criticised for doing so? 

What if you are a bisexual man and want to have sex involving another guy and your woman? Where can you find a healthy outlet? Are you going to be judged when attending swinger clubs? Are you going to find acceptance or suffer stigma because you’re a male bisexual?  

Luckily for you, I’m right here, and, as ever I have all the best advice when discussing male Bisexuality and the swinging lifestyle. 

In most bisexual swinger couples, it is the female who identifies as Bisexual, or at least Bicurious and the man that is straight. It’s almost kind of a given that these are the dynamics present, and even two straight swingers are not as common as you may think.

But what if you are a bisexual single male? Or are Bicurious? Are you still going to be able to swing? And will you be accepted in the lifestyle? What if you are comfortable being around guys having sex, and are unsure about how ‘Bi’ you are? How do you talk to your partner about wanting to explore this without them thinking your gay? 

You may have heard of the Kinsey scale, which is unsurprising, a scale, that ranges from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. We all fit on the scale somewhere or other! Check it out and see where you ‘fit.’

Why Swinging Is Good For Your Relationship 

As I have said in previous posts, I’m Bisexual and I can’t and won’t turn it off. To suppress my sexuality would be wrong and if you are a Bi guy, then I’m pretty sure you have the same feelings about your sexuality. So, how can swinging be good for your relationship? 

Through swinging, you can express your Bisexual character and enjoy exploring your sexuality within the comforts of your emotionally exclusive relationship. It allows for a healthy dose of same-sex intimacy without jeopardising your existing relationship. 

Bisexual Men And Swinging

I feel there has been a lot of pressure for men to be straight within the lifestyle community, and for a long time, swinging has been dominated by stereotypical straight ‘masculine’ men. 

What do I mean by this I hear you ask? Well, let’s not ignore the fact that when we are discussing male Bisexuality, our brains automatically conjure up an image of a less macho male, someone who is perhaps more in touch with his feminine side? A man who isn’t ‘alpha’?

This my friends is absolute BS!! 

Do you know what makes a man sexy and attractive? A man who owns his sexuality. A man who declares ‘this is me’. A man may identify as Bi, but does this make him any ‘less’ of a man? Hell no! The fact that he’s able to be open about it is a brave move and one that should be admired. 

A person who is comfortable in their own skin and sexuality is so very attractive. An individual who can say ‘this is me’ is golden in my eyes! 

So why is it then that so many bisexual men choose to keep their sexuality on the down-low? 

There have been several occasions that I have played with couples where the man has stated that he was straight, only to make a move on the other guys when we were all getting down to it. This didn’t go down too well; some of the men found it a turn off and proceeded to react in a less than positive way.

In a situation like this, sadly both parties are to blame. Firstly, if you are Bicurious, (which I presume some of them might have been) then say so. What’s the worse that could happen? Another man saying ‘No thanks, that’s not my thing.’ 

Speaking up is far better than suddenly deciding to make a move on a guy, without speaking about it first.  

And secondly, straight guys, get a grip! If a Bi guy does want to get intimate with you, there’s no need to shame him; a polite ‘No thanks’ is all you need. Reacting like a 12-year-old who has just seen a picture of a dick is really immature! 

Where To Find Bisexual Men For Swinging 

As ever, technology, or rather apps and swingers sites, now make advertising yourself as Bi a lot easier than waiting until you are in a swingers club before you decide to make a move. With swinger dating sites, you can set your profile to state if you are Bisexual or Bicurious and only search for other bisexual people. Searching this way helps to eliminate straight swingers, and you will be able to build up a connection a lot faster. 

Some Bisexual men I have spoken to have used Grinder to find other guys to have sex with. Now, I’m not in any way a Grinder expert here, and I guess if you are a single Bi guy, then that could work for you. 

I probably wouldn’t recommend the use of Grinder in long term non-monogamous swinger relationships, but you may decide to use it in open relationships. I swung with a couple where this was the case, and they were perfectly happy doing so! 

Straight Men and the Swinging Lifestyle

As I mentioned earlier, there have been occasions where I have witnessed straight guys not reacting positively to seeing Bisexual men being intimate. I don’t expect for them to stand there clapping, (well they might) but not voicing your opinion is just good manners. Sometimes in clubs, you will see sex acts that you personally don’t enjoy, shaming the people who do enjoy participating in them is just rude!

On occasion, men at parties have been uncomfortable with Bisexual guys merely being near them when they are having sex with a woman. Guys. Really? What, do you think that because another man’s dick is near you, you’re going to turn gay instantly? Or that he’s going to suddenly jump to his knees in a cock sucking frenzy? And even if that was the case, neither of these are things to be ashamed about! Homosexuality and oral sex? I think some fellas can be a little immature sometimes! 

If you are at a sex party, and you know that Bisexual people are in attendance, chances are they will be having sex with one another, because that’s kind of why they are there! 

Bisexual Men In Swinger Couples

Now, I’m sure you may have gathered, I am not a man. However, S is. And not only is he a man, but he’s also a Bisexual man and not in the slightest bit shy about it. A lot of what I have discovered about male Bisexuality, I have learnt from him. His thoughts on it, the reasons as to why he enjoys it, and why he likes to have Bisexual swinger experiences as part of a couple. He has always been completely honest and open with me about his sexuality from the start. 

However, I know that for many people, discussing Bisexuality even within their relationship is difficult. It doesn’t have to be as daunting as you may imagine! Here are a few Top Tips to opening up about being Bi.

  • Discussing sexuality can be scary, opening up and telling someone that you fantasise about the possibility of same-sex sex is daunting! Trust me; I’ve been there. What you could do is watch some porn. There are so many titles out there, MMFF swap or MMF play or MMMF! See how you both respond. You may be pleasantly surprised! Once you have figured out what sexually excites you and what doesn’t, you will begin to form your own ideas about what you want to experience. 
  • Being Bi, or wanting to have Bisexual sex doesn’t mean you are desperate to have deep anal with the first guy you see! It might be that your curious about it and watching or fantasising is as far as you ever want to go. Discussing your fantasies with other bisexual swingers is a great outlet, find forums or search on swinger websites for like-minded couples. There is a lot of material out there, to read at your leisure, and some times sharing how this has made you feel is truly special. If you include your partner in how you felt emotionally, they will gain a deeper insight into what it is you like; this, in turn, leads to a more intimate emotional connection. 
  • There are so many unique toys out there for couples. If you fancy pegging, but your girl isn’t feeling too confident then why not try something that is great for you both? A double-ended dildo that vibrates and has bunny ears? Oh, now your talking! 
  • Soft swap play is a very appealing option for many Bisexual swingers. It might be that you want to experience oral sex with another man, or maybe have him perform oral sex on you? Whatever it is, there’s no right or wrong way. Suddenly jumping into full swap, same-sex play can be a bit extreme, so take your time! 

What Are The Dangers Of Bisexual Swinging?

 When we are discussing male same-sex activity, we need to talk about safe sex. You can’t help but make connotations about gay men, STI’s, disease and aids. It is unfortunate, but these stereotypes have been ingrained into us, and many people are still ignorant and believe sexual diseases are only something that affects the gay community. I can assure you that they don’t! Having safe sex should always be your priority and using condoms for all sexual intimacy is just good practice. Aids doesn’t care if you are a man, woman, or a member of the trans community. It doesn’t care who you like to have sex with, so always play safely, especially when swinging! 

Male Bisexuality And Swinging -In Conclusion

More and more men are now able to express their sexuality and sexual preferences in full. It’s not that there has suddenly been an increase in Bisexual men, Bisexual men have always been part of society. But due to gradual shifts in attitudes and the rise of dating apps and casual sex, (very often these two go hand in hand) more men are now able to be themselves and express their sexuality. Swinging provides a healthy environment for men to share who they are, without fear of judgement or criticism. 

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