Is Swinging Good Or Bad?
What Are The Pros and Cons of Swinging?Before you decide to introduce swinging into your marriage, it makes sense to consider the pros and cons of the lifestyle.
Here my top pros and cons of swinging:
- Swinging nurtures bonds within your relationship
- It allows for Bisexuality to be explored
- Swinging is a healthy alternative to monogamy
- Swinging Is Still Seen As Taboo
- Sexually Transmitted Diseases
- It can be a scary prospect!
As with most things in life (and Swinging is a big decision to make), it’s best to get an overview of what’s involved, the risk, the rules, the advantages, and what you can expect to happen. It’s not all bunny tails and bend me over baby, there are some aspects of opening up your relationship that require careful consideration before you dive in.
I’m sure that after reading this post you will have questions surrounding non monogamous relationships, spouses and getting personal with married men and women. Leave me a comment or send me an email to get in contact! I’m a busy woman but I will do my best to answer you! So, please sit back, relax and let me teach you all I know on the pros and cons of Swinging.
Is Swinging Healthy For Your Relationship?- The Pros
Communication– Swinging stimulates conversation between couples. You cant decide to swing if you dont talk about it first. Discussing, addressing and discovering what you both you would or would not like to experience is all part of the journey. It may be hard at first, but as soon as you open up to your partner, you will find yourselves sharing fantasies and desires. You can discuss all manner of fun encounters, positions and scenarios that you would like to experience with your spouse.
Reconnecting after Swinging is where having excellent communication in your relationship is vital. Being able to be honest about how you are feeling after swinging is all part of the process.
Exploring Bisexuality or Kinks– Swinging allows for us to explore parts of our sexual character that usually, we keep hidden. If you identify as Bisexual, through swinging you can explore this fully, with the support of your partner. Also, you can experience different kinks and fetishes that you may otherwise not be able to explore, especially if they involve other people being present, such as voyeurism, for example.
Swinging Nurtures Strong Bonds- sharing an enjoyment in the lifestyle deepens love and affection. When you open up your relationship, the emotional exclusivity aspect remains private. Although this is slightly different if you are in a polyamorous relationship, you will still feel the same deep connection. Reconnecting, sharing and communicating while swinging all allow for the bonds in your relationship to strengthen over time.
Compersion– Compersion is an emotion that I was unaware existed until I started swinging. Compersion is the joy felt when you witness your partner having a sexual experience. The fact that they are enjoying it makes you happy. It is definitely a strange concept, but trust me, it’s a great feeling.
Healthy Alternative to Monogamy– Swinging is a healthy outlet for our innermost sexual urges and desires. Sex while Swinging is to merely complement an already existing excellent sex life between an emotionally exclusive couple. A successful swinger relationship is built on honesty, understanding and exploring sexual desires and fantasies. Swinging is a safe environment for both parties to express parts of their character that is usually kept hidden.
It Expands Your Social Circle– Swingers are an amicable and approachable bunch. You can talk to other swingers online, in clubs and arrange to go on dates to chat about the lifestyle. Discussing Swinging with your vanilla friends is probably not the best idea, as some people can be quick to judge or make assumptions. Having swinger friends is helpful as you can relate to one another’s experiences. And, of course, if you are all feeling comfortable, you can all play together too!
Sex Is Good For You– I don’t need to tell you that sex is good for you. Being sexy is a boost to your self-esteem, your confidence and your mental wellbeing. Sex is excellent for your mental and physical health.
You may decide that you want to enjoy a more active lifestyle once you decide to swing, and start exercising regularly to keep in shape for your swinger adventures!
The Downsides of Swinging- The Cons
Swinging Is Still Seen As Taboo– Many couples and single swingers choose to hide the fact that they participate in the lifestyle. Keeping it a secret can cause difficulty in juggling other commitments in your life such as your job and regular social activities. Sometimes you cant tell your family what it is your doing, other than your busy and need someone to look after the kids! Fear of being found out as a swinger can also cause people stress, mostly if it were known to others in a professional setting. Swinging involves a lot of privacy and sometimes you have to implement methods of keeping your swinging life private.
It Can Be Hard To Find People To Swing With- Yes, there are many people online who will send you messages, emails, chat to you and share pictures over the internet or via apps with you and afterwards you rightly assume that they want to meet up for a swinger date? Right? Well, not always! Many people are curious about the lifestyle and enjoy fantasising about it, talking about it and dreaming about it but never actually meet other swingers. This is fine, but it can be frustrating when you are serious about meeting ‘genuine’ swingers.
Swinging Is Time Consuming- Swinging takes up time! Even if you decide to visit a swingers club, chances are it will not open until 9 pm and if you stay until the end, it can be 3 am before your leaving. Then you have to get home, unwind and reconnect. And that’s without arranging the night yourself. If you choose to arrange your own party or swingers date, then you have to spend time chatting to the couples, organising it, deciding where to host, meeting couples for dates etc… it’s not as quick and painless as you might imagine.
Sometimes it is hard to juggle regular life and swinging life, so many couples play less frequently, but enjoy higher quality swinging when they do play. You can meet couples from swinger websites, hit it off online, and arrange to meet for a date. But this is no quick process, it can take days to secure a date in person. Lots of people simply dont have the hours to invest.
It Can Be Scary– Swinging, especially starting Swinging, can be very scary indeed! Your nervous, your feeling shy, perhaps even a little bit fearful and apprehensive. This is normal; trust me. There are times that you may feel out of your comfort zone, and this is fine, take some time out, and decide if its something you want to do or not. It’s entirely understandable to feel daunted about starting Swinging; I was very apprehensive when I started. Share your fears with your partner, (they aren’t psychic) or ask other swingers for their advice via forums and online groups.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases– A real threat in the swinging world. Sadly STD’s and STI’s are something we must discuss when talking about swinging. Always use condoms and barriers when having sex, and change the condom between partners.
If you dont feel comfortable having penetrative sex with other swingers, (as many people don’t) then having soft swap play or limiting play to oral sex might be an alternative. Always prepare yourselves well and never presume other swingers have condoms.
Swinging Isn’t Socially Acceptable– As I previously stated, Swinging is still seen as being quite a taboo subject, and many people wrongly confuse swinging with marital infidelity and presume that if you swing, you cheat on one another. Sadly many misconceptions are generated about swingers; that they will have sex with anyone, they cheat on one another, and they are carrying all kinds of diseases! Some ridiculous ideas are floating around surrounding swinger relationships, and in broader society, many people would still not respond positively of you revealed to them you enjoy the lifestyle.
Jealousy– Even the most experienced and dedicated swingers can feel the odd pang of jealousy every once in a while. This is an entirely normal emotion and one that you have to accept as being part of the lifestyle. Recently I confided in S that I felt a small amount of jealousy when we were playing with a couple a few weeks ago. We spoke about it, and he revealed to me that he too felt a similar pang of jealousy! We both agreed that this was ok and acceptable to feel. However, some people struggle with jealousy, and if you are the jealous type, it might be difficult for you to embrace the swinging lifestyle.
What are the Pros and Cons of Swinging? In Conclusion…
Swinging isn’t for everyone. Some couples seem to take rather naturally to it and enjoy most aspects of the swinger lifestyle. In contrast, others dabble in and out of it for years, fantasising, and tentatively exploring.
Some couples try it, and can’t get on with it at all, and others would never dream of doing it! We are all different, and all have our own set ideas about what makes sex great. You may not identify as Bisexual or have and extreme kinks and fetishes you wish to explore and may wish to attend swinging clubs as a voyer or even as an exhibitionist couple. There is no right and wrong way to swing; how we decide to do it is all down to us as individuals.
Of course, there are negatives associated with Swinging, and I hope you have gained a real insight into what being a swinger entails. For me, I love swinging and if you do decide to go down the non-monogamous path, be sure always to communicate your desires and limits to those around you to ensure you have a safe and sexually fulfilling time!Come and get involved on social!