Swinger Lifestyle Glossary Thiskindagirls A-Z of Non-Monogamy

Swinger Lifestyle Glossary Thiskindagirls A-Z of Non-Monogamy 

Adult- Anything that is deemed only suitable for those over the age of 18 years. Many swinger sites or club sites ask that you are over 18 years before you click ‘enter’. 

Aftercare After a BDSM scene, taking time out to reconnect and care for one another’s physical and emotional wellbeing. 

Ageplay Play where age is part of the dynamic. Very often, people take on roles such as ‘daddy’ and ‘baby girl. Age differences can also be fetishised.  

Asexuality can mean different things to different people. Easiest to describe as someone who has little to no interest in sex. However, they still maintain romantic relationships with their partners. Asexuality can also be a sexual orientation.

BBW Big Beautiful Woman. A woman who is confident in her body and loves the skin she’s in. 

Bull Often the term used to describe a single male swinger who has sex with the female half of a cuckold couple. Typically, bulls are dominant and well endowed. 

Bi-curious A person, male or female, who is curious or open-minded to being intimate or having a relationship with someone of the same sex. 

Bisexual A person who enjoys intimacy or relationships with both genders, equally. I like men, and I like women, in equal parts. 

Bottom Is someone who is typically ‘submissive’ in a relationship or the less dominant partner. 

Boundaries Rules, guidelines and limits drawn up that form a basis of someone’s level of comfort when having sex. These can belong to the individual and or be joint boundaries. 

Bareback Having sex without a condom.

Cuckold, The male partner in a cuckold relationship, is often submissive and will give his consent for his female partner to engage in sexual acts with other men or women in front of him without any participation from him. He may also like humiliation or degradation. Cuckold men are often voyeurs. 

Cuckquean, The female version of a cuckold. A cuckqueen may enjoy watching her partner engage in sexual acts with other people in front of her. She, too, may enjoy humiliation and aspects of BDSM. 

Compersion The opposite of jealousy. Compersion is the feeling of joy that comes from facilitating your partner’s sexual pleasure without you being directly involved. Watching him having sex with another woman gives me feelings of compersion. 

Cam Date Having a date that takes place behind a camera! This was a really popular way of meeting new swingers and chatting about the Lifestyle during the lockdown. Having a cam date can be as vanilla or as not as you want. 

DP Double Penetration where someone has both anal and vaginal sex at the same time. This can be with other people or by the use of sex toys. 

Exhibitionists are people in the Lifestyle who are not shy! For some exhibitionists, having sex with their partner in front of others is the whole reason they visit a swingers club. For others, it’s the fact they can be naked and or admired by those around them. Whatever the reason, exhibitionists are usually the first to strip off! 

Ethical Non-Monogamy When you make a mutual agreement with your partner, regardless of your gender or sexuality, that you would like to include other people in your intimate life. You are both aware of this and draw up a list of mutual rules and boundaries that you stick to. 

Entertain To entertain means a couple or single person can host a party or social meet in their own home. 

Full Swap when people decide to go all the way and swap partners completely.  

Fluid Bond If you have unprotected sex with a regular couple or single person and agree not to have unprotected sex with anyone else. Thus your ‘fluids’ are only coming into contact with these trusted partners. 

FFM Female, Female, Male. One of my favourite sandwiches! 

Friend With Benefits FWB A person or couple who you like enough to have sex with but don’t wish to have an emotional relationship with. We have all had one, have got one or have been one! Useful if you are a single person and would like to play as a couple without being in a relationship! 

Girl on Girl As the name suggests, Girl on Girl is any female-only intimacy. 

Group Sex Usually with a minimum of four participants, sometimes called an Orgy. 

Hard Swap, this type of Swap usually includes more intimate sex acts such as penetrative sex. This can be between any people involved. 

Hard Limits A sexual act that a person will not do.

Heteroflexible A person that is heterosexual but is comfortable being close in an intimate setting with those of the same gender and may entertain the idea of being Bi-curious. 

Hedonist A person who lives for Sexual pleasure! Someone once described me as a hedonist! 

Houseparty A swingers party that takes place in someone’s house or rented party property. Sometimes referred to as ‘old school parties’.  

Hotwife Can be both a Roleplay Fetish and a type of Open relationship. A woman (the hotwife) has sex with other people outside of her existing relationship, with the full consent of her current partner. Hot Husbandry is the same dynamic, but with his partner’s consent, the male partner has sex with other people outside of the existing relationship. Unlike cuckolding and cuckqueening, the hot husband or hotwife partner derives enjoyment and actively participates in the play session. You don’t have to be married to enjoy this type of relationship; it’s just the name! 

Impact Play  BDSM terminology describes any play where a dominant inflicts any impact upon the submissive. This can be through the use of a flogger, whip, hand or cane etc. This can be to pleasure them, arouse them, or punish them. 

Lifestyle What ‘swingers’ used to be called. Now it’s called ‘the lifestyle’ I think the Lifestyle can be used to describe open-minded people who aren’t in sexually exclusive monogamous relationships. 

LTR Long Term Relationship. 

MMF Male, Male, Female

Munch A type of BDSM or alternative social event, like a swinger social, but for people with different kinks. 

Newbies Ahh! One of my favourite terms! Newbies is the term given to people, both single people and those in relationships, who are just starting out the Lifestyle.

Open Relationship Open is a bit of a blanket term. Open is often used to describe all manner of non-monogamous relationships and people loosely. I define ‘open’ as free from conventional restraints of conventional thinking. In terms of a relationship, you may be emotionally exclusive with your partner but have sex with others in a hotwife dynamic. Thus the sexual side of your relationship has been ‘opened up.’ 

Pansexual A person who can feel sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender. The other individual’s gender is not the determining factor. The appeal lies within who the person is and not what is between their legs. 

Playmates sexy friends. Swinger buddies. Other people in the Lifestyle. The people you are ‘playing with.’ 

Play Party A party where you can play with other adults if you want to. 

Pet Play BDSM play where one person takes on the role or persona of a ‘pet’ could be a dog, cat or even a pony. Very often, their ‘handler’ dresses them appropriately in a collar and lead and then proceeds to treat them like a pet. Sometimes the ‘pet’ will live like an animal and eat from a pet bowl. Not that I’ve done this to my submissives…

Polyamorous A type of open relationship whereby couple may have extra relationships and their existing one that all parties know about. for example, Dave and Kerry might be married, but Kerry may have a girlfriend with whom she is also in a relationship. Polyamory differentiates from swinging as very often, people who are polyamorous are seeking an emotional connection with their play partners, not just a physical one. It’s quite normal for poly couples to love other people at the same time. I tried it, and it’s not my thing!  

Soft Swap. It is different from a full swap in that people may decide they don’t wish to go ‘all the way’. Soft swap play may include oral sex or stimulation with hands or toys. 

Socials A social meeting or event where people in ‘the lifestyle’ can meet, mingle and be sociable. Check out Discord for my social swinger server.  

Same Room As the name suggests, any activity where couples swing in the same room as opposed to a ‘separate room.’ 

Separate Room Like above, but the other way round. Some couples arrive at parties together, then swing in different rooms. 

SafeWord In most BDSM relationships or ‘scenes’, the submissive partner has a safe word that is agreed upon and communicated between all parties. When expressed, it signifies the end of all play. 

Stag A man who is often the partner of a hotwife or a vixen. In no way is he a cuckold. A stag often encourages his female partner to engage in sexual activity with others. 

Snowballing in group sex session or orgy, to snowball is to pass semen between each other via the mouth. 

Sensory play Any play that heightens the senses. You could use Feathers, cold glass dildos, blindfolds, ice cubes.

Site Often, I will ask people, ‘what site are you on? What I mean is, what swinger sites do you use? 

Soft Limits a sexual limit that someone is willing to try. For me, it’s hot wax play. 

Switch: A person who enjoys playing both submissive and dominant roles in the bedroom and can ‘switch’ between the two easily. 

Swinger A person who engages in Ethical Non-Monogamy. Single or married. Man, Woman, straight, gay, however, you identify, there’s a swinger situation for you! 

Swinger Name when you are a party or using a swinger website, you will be asked to make a username. This is your swinger name. Also, we swingers like to be discreet, so it’s a name you give yourself when going to parties or events. Like Thiskindagirl 

Triad A triad is a relationship that involves three people who live together or are emotionally invested in each other. Different to a threesome in the sense that the three people are usually emotionally invested in each other. 

Top the dominant partner in a relationship 

Threesome Three people are getting down to it! MMF FFF MMM FFF. Fairly common to encounter in clubs and at parties. 

Topping From The Bottom When the submissive partner in a BDSM relationship attempts to control the scene. Also known as being a brat. They try and control the behaviour of their domme! Very naughty indeed! 

Unicorn A single female who is involved in the swinger lifestyle. Most people are looking for a bisexual unicorn. Unicorns understand what the swinger lifestyle entails. So-called because, in reality, they are rare, like unicorns

Unicorn Hunting couples who are seeking out the elusive unicorn are often known as Unicorn Hunters. 

Vixen A Vixen is sometimes called a Hotwife. A woman who has sex with others as well as her existing partner. She actively encourages her partner (stag) to have sex with others but is not a Cuckqueen. Her stag will encourage her to have sex with others.

Voyeurs People in the Lifestyle who like to watch others or watch their own partner engaging in sexual activity. This is a very popular fetish! 

Verification Sometimes, a swingers site or dating site will ask you to go through a process to become ‘verified’. This usually entails sending a picture of yourself to the admin email or sometimes submitting a photo of your ID. This is standard practice, and those pictures never go anywhere other than the admin’s email. Trust me, I know about this and it’s one of the best ways to become popular on swinging sites. 

Verified becoming a verified member of something; usually, a swinger club is similar to the above, but usually, the ‘verification process is done in person by meeting the hosts or by having a call with the event organisers. Again, it’s a really common practice. 

Vanilla For me, vanilla is anything that isn’t strictly baby making

Vanilla Date A pre swinging date. Like a normal date, but between swingers or swinger couples. It’s where you meet, see if you have chemistry and discuss what you would like to experience. I always, always recommend having a vanilla date. 

Watersports incorporating urinating onto one another when you have sex. 

420 Friendly. Smoking weed is ok. 

I hope you have enjoyed Everything You NEED To Know About Swinging! Swinger Lifestyle Glossary. I’m sure there are plenty more terms I will add over time! This post was requested to me by my Tribe over on Discord, see, I do do requests!

Come and get involved on social!

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