The Truth About Swinging.
Swinging. Open relationships. Wife Swap. Cuckold. Gangbang. When we start talking about ‘the lifestyle’ there are so many different aspects to it, I easily could write a detailed post on each subject!
This post, however, aims to uncover the truth about swinging. I’ll be discussing common misconceptions, myths, tall tales and downright rubbish about swingers and swinger clubs! You may be surprised at what you discover!
I don’t know what you have been told, or if anyone has ever revealed to you that they swing, or practice any of the above, but this post is about real swinging. If you have questions about consent, marriage, single guys, sexuality and sexual limits, this post might be the one you have been looking for! So the truth about swinging…
What To Know About Swinging
It’s Not A free For All– Many people are under the assumption that swingers clubs are a free for all environment, where anyone can have sex with anyone, and anything goes. This is absolute crap! No swinging club or party I’ve ever been to has been like this, and if it were, I certainly wouldn’t play there! Rules are there to be respected and overstepping the boundaries will only result in one thing, no action and you will probably be asked to leave. Expecting people to play without establishing what is ok and what’s not, is not what swinging is about.
Even if there’s a pretty hardcore orgy going on, you have to ask before you join in. Some couples are only wanting to play with one another in a club environment, and intruding on them without an invitation is not acceptable. This is their decision based on honest communication between them, and that’s totally cool, regardless of what they are participating in. (even if it does make you want to join in)
Not Everyone Has Sex– I know! This is surprising. After all, if they aren’t having sex, what are they doing? They are watching, chatting, flirting, relaxing. There are no rules stating that you must have sex if you are in a swingers club or at a party. Some couples attend to simply watch and enjoy being in the company of other like-minded people. Sometimes they have sex with one another whilst watching, and other times they observe. Not everyone is stripping off and getting down and dirty! Some couples attend with their partner as they find watching other people doing it an exciting, hot turn on.
Swingers Clubs Are Full Of Unattractive People– Firstly, we are all beautiful, and no one has the right to body shame others. There will be people who you find attractive and people you don’t. There will also be people who find you attractive and people who dont. The Lifestyle attracts people from all walks of life and not just from certain classes of society. The participants in swingers clubs do tend to be couples, and very often they are so welcoming and approachable, you find making conversation with them as easy as you do your friends.
Some clubs ask you to submit a picture when you create a membership, and some have strict policies on how you present yourself. If you adhere to the rules then your not going to be turned away because your not page three material! This is just ridiculous! Which brings me onto the next point…
Swingers Clubs Are Full Of Skinny People– Again, what a load of absolute rubbish! Humans come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. Some are tall and slim; others are short and curvy. Some people have large boobs and sexy thighs, some have great bums and big chests. Some people are rocking the ‘dad bod’, and some are gym bunnies. I’ve never been to a party and been surrounded solely by skinny, aesthetically pleasing people, and if I did, I probably wouldn’t have a great night.
Variety is the spice of life, and I like variety! I’m relatively small and petite. Do you know what I’m used to? My small petite body! Do you know what I’m not used to? Other bodies! Bring it on is what I say!
Swingers Are Regular Couples– There’s a Reason I wish to remain anonymous. We could have already met, you could have driven past me today, or perhaps, I was in the queue in the supermarket. I look normal, and I act normally, you know why? Because without a large sign on my back stating ‘SHES A SWINGER’ you wouldn’t be able to tell! Yes, I’m a kinky, fun, flirty blogger. But I’m also just like you. Swinger couples have the same pressures on them like everyone else. They have families and mortgages, and 9-5 jobs and all that vanilla stuff that we all call life.
Swinging Isn’t Cheating– It’s easy to see why some people may confuse swinging for cheating or having secret affairs. After all, they all involve sex or intimacy outside of the constraints of an ‘exclusive’ relationship. However, swingers discuss playing with others, in whatever capacity that is, together, they dont hide the truth from one another. Sometimes it may be that they decide to engage in different room full swap play separately, but they will still go home together at the end of the night, and talk about it and reconnect as a couple. With swinging, both parties are in mutual agreement about when they play, how they play and who with. Through swinging they become closer, as together they have chosen the intimacy they have enjoyed.
Swingers Take Drugs and Drink– Do they? Have you conducted a survey? Ok, ok, it’s easy to make the connection between sex, swingers clubs and other debaucherous acts such as drinking and drug-taking. I mean, everyone knows that sex is served with a side helping of drugs and rock and roll. Right?
Although there are very often bars in swinger clubs, if you attend a party intending to get drunk and proceed to have too much to drink then chances are you are going to be thrown out. No one wants to have sex with drunk swingers, so dont do it. The same applies to drug-taking. If your the only one chewing your face off, you’re going to stand out if those around you aren’t. So think twice before you take something! If you take recreational drugs, dont be fooled into taking something in a swingers club. Mixing drink, drugs and sex leads to an increased chance of you not playing safety.
Some Clubs Are Members Only– Turning up on the off chance you’ll be allowed in isn’t how it’s done! I’m sure some clubs do allow it, but the majority follow a membership system where you apply for membership, submit your details and then await confirmation. Once you have been verified, you then are granted access to booking information regarding the parties and the location details. Some clubs are very strict with who they let in, and the ratio of men/women and couples. Some clubs cater for different types of swingers depending on what scene you are into.
There are some, where a girl can attend with another girl and explore swinging surrounded mostly by other women and a few couples. Some venues are more suitable for a married woman to attend with her cuckold husband where she can be involved in group sex and gang banging.
Not Everyone Struts Around Naked– In fact, full nudity isn’t always on the cards. Some couples and singles do, (and they love it) and that’s their choice, and some only get undressed when they are engaging in full swap play. Some choose to remain dressed throughout, and others prefer to remove part of their clothing, perhaps leaving their stockings on, for example.
There are no expectations of getting your kit off, and you are not going to chastised for not baring all. It may be a shock to you when I say this, but the people who are entirely naked standout! Changes are, if it’s your first experience of a swinger club, you might want to relax fully clothes for a bit, instead of getting naked and sitting there feeling awkward!
All Female Swingers Are Bisexual– Nope! They aren’t! Some women who swing are Bi, some are Bi-Curious, and some are straight. There’s a gross misconception that if you’re a female swinger, you identify as Bisexual. A large majority do, but its certainly not a requirement. If your not, your not, that’s it! I’m still happy to play with couples where both parties are straight as long as it’s mentioned beforehand, so everyone is on the same page. You should never feel pressured or forced into ‘being bi’. There’s nothing worse than a situation where someone feels pressured into acting a certain way. Be true to yourself!
Swingers Don’t Practice Safe Sex. This misconception is tied into the belief that swinger couples will have unprotected sex with anyone, at any point, anyway, anywhere! I’m not sure what people are basing this on exactly, because again, I have never been to a club where such crazy, sexually reckless behaviour is allowed to happen. From time to time you may encounter men or women who do want to play without protection, but they should never pressure you into taking this kind of risk. Stds and STI’s such as herpes and chlamydia can easily be spread from person to person. If you are concerned about health issues, stick to soft play only.Come and get involved on social!