Top Swinger Date Ideas

Top Swinger Date Ideas. Welcome to ‘the Lifestyle’. If your reading this then chances are you have already had the ‘I Want To Try Swinging’ conversation with your partner or have given it some serious consideration if you are a single person wanting to get involved in swinging.

Maybe you have been chatting to other swingers online, or perhaps have met a couple in a club and want to meet them in private. The next and most sensible step is to arrange a swinger first date. Here is my must-read guide to Top Swinger Date Ideas; so find out that little black dress, splash on some aftershave and get ready to schmooze like a pro!

Chances are if you are already an established couple, then you will of put your dating days behind you, and quite rightly too. After all, you don’t continue ‘dating’ once you have decided to be exclusive with your partner. If you’re a single person then ‘dating’ swingers, or going on swinger dates is very different to going on regular dates, so listen up!

How To Have Successful Swinger Dates

The ingredients for a great date, swinger or otherwise are pretty much the same. You want to strike the right balance between creating sexual chemistry in a flirtatious way whilst keeping the date relaxed and informal. Too much sex talk or too many innuendos are a turn-off whilst not allowing the sexual chemistry to build in the first place by not reciprocating the flirting is also a non-starter. You don’t want to appear to be too sexual, with sex dominating the conversation, neither do you want to appear to be too stuffy and unapproachable.

You need to keep the date relaxed and informal to allow the conversation to flow naturally. It can be challenging to open up about your kinks and desires to your partner, never mind a couple you hardly know.

Having an interactive first date; an activity, an experience, or something informal, is a great idea. There’s nothing worse than sitting around a table formally discussing the what’s, where’s and whys of what you all like. Participating in something fun, that naturally stimulates conversation is enjoyable, especially if it allows for you to build up sexual chemistry in a casual environment.

Many couples and single swingers decide to meet for an ‘initial drinks’ date. I fully understand why meeting for a drink, and a chat is a popular option; even the most confident of girls like to have a Gin and Tonic when discussing their kinks with new swingers.

However, don’t make this the focus of your date. A drink when you meet, or during the date is fine, but getting drunk when you all hardly know one another is an absolute no no!

Keeping it cheap and cheerful is important! Who pays for what and when is awkward enough within the realms of regular dating, never mind when you add more people to the mix! To avoid making things even more complicated, keep it low key and inexpensive!

Meeting In A Swingers Club For The First Date

Although it’s not my favourite place for a first date, there are a few perks of meeting in a club.

If you have spent time chatting to other swingers online, especially if they are reasonably local, you could arrange to meet in a swingers club or a party. Meeting within the confines of a club means even if they don’t turn up, ( some swingers are very flaky) chances are you will still be in for a great night, surrounded by other swingers! You may find that meeting a couple, chatting and playing with them is a step too far for a first date, and instead, you may choose to chat, flirt and then go and do your own thing, or watch them do theirs! It can be intense if it’s your first time in a club, so take things steady, plus conversation may not flow as naturally as you may like in a sex party environment.

Having A Date In A Restaurant

Meeting for dinner is another popular option, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this, however, to keep things informal, chatty and relaxed, here are my suggestions.

Switch it up. You don’t have to meet for a ‘dinner’ date. Brunch, lunch, or afternoon tea are all far more relaxed affairs. Even meeting for breakfast can be an enjoyable date. Choose a place that offers a more ‘sociable’ eating experience. Food markets with stalls and small pop-ups provide something for everyone, and you can socialise whilst you browse what’s on offer.

Borough Market and Camden Market are two great little spots! Of course, you can meet in a restaurant, but perhaps it may be an idea to go for somewhere that offers informal ‘sharing’ dishes and relaxed seating, again so that you can interact next to one another, as opposed to opposite across a formal table.

Bowling

A great one for couples and its so easy to build up chemistry with a little competition! You don’t have to swap couples, but you can easily have men vs women. Bowling encourages us to have fun and let our guard down. To the outside world you just like friends having fun, which of course you are, so if you are feeling a little nervous or want to be discreet for fear of being overheard, bowling is perfect!

Wine Tasting

Now, I know I said don’t drink in excess, and with wine tasting, you shouldn’t be going with the intention of getting drunk. Again, its sociable creates a conversation that flows naturally and is an activity pretty much most people enjoy. You can flirt, chat and slowly build up a connection. Chances are you have to book a place in advance, so you don’t have the added awkwardness of figuring out who pays for what at the end of the date if you have already booked a place. Sharing a common interest is a good ice breaker as it stimulates thoughtful conversation.

Picnic In The Park

It doesn’t have to be in a park, but picnics are a lovely, informal date idea. Plus, they are inexpensive, and you can make or take what you like, and again, it promotes conversation; especially if you are all foodies. A picnic can be quite private, and if you’re feeling a little shy, a secluded spot to have a picnic in is often a good idea as chances are you won’t be overheard or interrupted.

Gin, Cocktail Making or Sushi Demo Masterclass

Again, having a focal point or activity to base the date around is an excellent way of avoiding any awkward silences and generic small talk conversations. If you are all interested in something similar then meeting up for a masterclass or demo is a useful way of getting comfortable with one another in a relaxed and fun environment.

You can see if you have chemistry and are relaxed in one another’s company well in advance of anyone taking their clothes off. Plus, should the date go well, you can easily have a follow-up conversation about it the next time you meet!

5 Top Tips To Make Your Swingers First Date A Success

  • Be conscious of your body language and what it is saying about you. You don’t have to be an expert to figure out what people are saying when they are not talking. It can be tempting to cling onto your partner, especially when meeting people, after all, it’s a nerve-wracking experience, and we seek out comfort when we feel nervous. Clinging onto one another will only send out a negative first impression. Even if your feeling apprehensive, dont claw at one another and place your hands on one another’s thighs as if you are afraid one of you might run off! It’s a big turn off! Instead, sit or stand in a natural pose, without crossing your arms. I know this is easier said than done, so try and have your hands in your lap. Your posture should be open and inviting. This also applies to single swingers, try not to sit in a negative posture with your arms and legs crossed, be aware that defensive body language can have a significant impact on dates!
  • Don’t feel pressured to talk about sex and intimacy too soon. It can be hard to broach the subject, so start off by discussing clubs you have been to, or are interested in attending. Nothing too heavy; keep it polite and friendly. Perhaps you met your partner through online dating? This type of discussion always generates conversation.
  •  Opening with ‘Hi, I want to spit-roast your wife whilst my wife rims me, what do you think?’ is probably a step too far. If your all feeling comfortable then the more intimate conversation will follow, or maybe you want to save that for a second date?
  • Shift the focus away from the end result. This is a great tip I learnt for making conversation with sexy men in the gym. If you fancy someone, and you find yourself getting tongue-tied and flustered, shift the direction of your intentions and how you view them. Instead of fixating on how attractive they are, or worrying about saying the right thing, instead have the mindset that they are simply another person to talk to. The pressure of having to be funny/sexy/flirty then fades away, and you become a lot more natural. It’s hard, I know its hard, especially when your thinking ‘oh my god, this girls is gorgeous I want to eat her’ ( that happens to me a lot) but if you shift the focus away from sex, conversation and natural body language follows.
  • After your date, you must reconnect with your partner or check-in with yourself. Discuss how going on a date made you feel, or think carefully about what emotions arose. Are these people that could be part of your swinging journey? Could you share more intimate ideas with them and do you feel comfortable inviting them into your private world? Reconnecting and sharing your thoughts is vital. Talk about your rules and boundaries as a couple and how another couple or single swinger would compliment them.
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